Yet another reason to stay the hell away from Florida...and no, it doesn't involve a Trump family vacation (this time)...it's Friday!

Welcome to Friday everyone. Another week down, another looming large over the horizon. I know, I know, just call me Mr. Sunshine.

I made an offhand comment the other day that I was rather looking forward to Fearless Leader’s vacation to Florida that was supposed to start today. I figured that without adult supervision around him in DC, the tweets would be both monumental and entertaining.
But now, amid the maelstrom that envelops lives in Jerusalem-on-the-Potomac, he is threatening to cancel his vacation and remain at the White House. So much for unbridled tweets, I thought. Then it occurred to me…he’s either fired or otherwise run out the door all his adult supervision so that leaves a tight pack of sycophants who all titter at his Twitter ramblings.

Okay, go or no, we’re back on!

Frankly, though, Fearless Leader belongs in Florida. Seriously.

You dedicated followers this stupid blog may have noticed in the past that a lot of our posts focus on the weirdness that is Florida. We've even explored why it is that so many oddball occurrences emanate from down there.

If you think I’m kidding, try Googling the phrase, “Florida man” and see what happens. You can interchange that with “Florida woman” and get nearly the same result.

Maybe it’s the heat, maybe it’s the humidity. Who knows. But weirdness is an organic growth industry down in that part of the world.

And, it’s not just the people. There is an increasingly menace from non-native invasive species that are growing large and taking charge. Pythons, for instance.

It seems that people in Florida who raise pythons as “pets” (yeesh) are either turning them out in the wild when they become too big for the one-bedroom apartment. Or maybe the giant snakes are escaping (again, yeesh).

The problem with having non-native species running amok is that they tend to throw the natural order of things into chaos by eating the native species and removing said cog in the wheel of order.

In fact, it’s gotten so bad down there what with a great environment for being a python and opportunities o’ plenty for breeding that pythons are taking over the place.

The Florida Wildlife Commission has for years had a phalanx of contractors willing hunting the damned things to counter the ecological upheaval their introduction into places like the Everglades creates.

This past Sunday things slithered to a new height when one of the contractors managed to bag a new state record, a Burmese python that measured 18 feet (pictured above)…great coogley moogley.

The contractor said that he spotted the beast and grabbed it by the head. For his trouble said snake began wrapping itself around his waist. He managed to drag it (all 150 lbs.) back to his truck where he soon disposed of it.

So, you see…weirdness abounds in Florida. I’m not making it up. Whether it’s a Trump family Christmas, some naked dude directing traffic in a busy intersection, a woman calling 911 for the cops to deliver her beer, a dude beating the crap out of his son for eating all the Cheez-Its, or an invasive species that someone left on the side of road…Florida is the center of the universe for weird.

Stay the hell out of Florida!
​
That is all!