Wedded brother and sister...supposedly dead guys breeding with aliens on other planets...late night shenanigans from administrations past...and, fowl fornication...we have it all, why would you read any other blog?

Friends, I don’t know how many of you rely on CCB as a news source. It’s hard for us to gauge given that our #$@!ing web host doesn’t give us access to proper statistics to measure that sort of thing (I need a new web host).

This country has been seized with this whole fake news thing since the end months of Cataclysm 2016, when candidate The Trump began lashing out at fake news outlets (e.g., CNN, MSNBC, etc.). I think it’s caused most, if not all, of us to sit back and reflect on whether or not what we’re reading is true. I know it has for me.

I’ve even begun cutting out articles from that almost-daily local newspaper here that still accepts articles from me, but still won’t allow me to mention them by name. I cut out those articles that I suspect of being fake news and paste them to the living room wall here at The Compound (for later review).

But, in the big scheme of things, what is fake news?

I sneered (sneered, I’m telling you) at something that appeared at the top of my Facebook page from the good folks at FB. It was a primer in detecting fake news so I wouldn’t be sucked in. I laughed haughtily (haughtily, I say) and thought to myself, I am truly a prince among fake news writers…I don’t need no stinking Facebook help in rooting out fake news! Fake news falls at my feet! I own fake news!

Long time readers of this blog (there’s still a few of you that we’ve not offended) will recall CCB running a story about a Thanksgiving morning when a woman came downstairs to find her husband fornicating with their thawed turkey. She attacked him with a knife, the cops showed up and arrested them both – her for the knife attack, him for crimes against nature – blah, blah, blah. Guess what, that was fake news. Come on, have a little faith in humanity for pete’s sake.

Maybe I should have read that FB post after all. Last week I recall seeing an article on one of the major news outlets about a married couple in Mississippi that had gone in for DNA testing prior to an in-vitro fertilization procedure. Turns out the couple (unbeknownst to them) were biological twins. Gadzooks! I thought to myself…ain’t life weird?

I scan a lot of news outlet sites every morning and found that same story or slight variations thereof on at least four more. I spent FAR TOO MUCH TIME thinking about the couple and what the hell would they do now? I suspect marrying your sister, even if you’re in Mississippi, is some sort of felony. And, how was it that they were separated, presumably at birth, lived separate lives and then suddenly found themselves in this situation? These are the questions for which I needed answers…at least for 10 minutes before I was to a story about a mother snake that had adopted a bunch of abandoned kittens and was raising them as her own.

Well, guess what? Turns out that story originated on a website called the Mississippi Herald that does nothing but publish fake news. Seriously, they make the sh^t up! Now, why can’t I get a job like that? I’d be good at producing fake news.

Seriously, right out of the gate, I’d break the news that The Trump and the Queen of the Unindicted had been caught sexting in the middle of the night by a secret service agent whose father, also a secret service agent, was at one time, the Queen of the Unindicted’s boy toy.

Wouldn’t you want to read about that? Sure you would! It’s an episode of the Jerry Springer Show!

But, I digress.

So the biggest news outlet to pick up and run with this story…come on, guess. Believe it or not, it was Fox News! IKR? Everybody got fooled and quickly pulled the story off their website.

I used to read with some regularity one of the tabloids in the supermarket checkout, NEWS of the WORLD. It was a good one. From that I learned that Elvis was alive and well and living on some planet where he was breeding with all the alien virgins to create a race of hip-swiveling singers who subsist entirely on fried banana and peanut butter sandwiches.

You can’t make that up!!!!

I think there may be a place for fake news in the world. I mean, reality can be downright depressing, you know?

That is all!

Disclaimer: CCB’s altogether shamed and dis-barred attorney here: CCB has no actual evidence of The Trump and Queen of the Unindicted being caught sexting at night. Also, the part about Elvis breeding with alien virgins…made that up. The part about Mr. Robin cutting articles from the outstanding last bastion of local professional journalism that he deems fake is true…but, then again, Mr. Robin is a paranoid idiot in serious need of psychiatric care.
 

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