Warrants being served at The Compound...something is blocking the Bluetooth...bad-boy legislatorS...must be Saturday!

My goodness, a second Saturday straight we’re posting to CCB. I need to get a life…and, some sleep!

Okay a quick update since so many of your sent me email yesterday wringing your hands over the fate of the liberal refugees being trucked to communes in Colorado.

The Daughter should have dropped them deep in the Rockies sometime yesterday evening. I haven’t heard otherwise so I’m certain they’ve made it sanctuary. The Daughter will deliver her load of string beans to Utah this morning (minus a few cans) and head back with a load of empty cans. I expect her to stop here on the way back.

In the meantime, the spiritualists are still here at The Compound. They aren’t moving. I got an equal amount of emails yesterday from every spiritualist group in America wanting me to update that status…so there you have it. Who knew there were so many ghost chasers in this country? Don’t you people have real jobs to go to?

The Pathetic Order of the Jackrabbit – Original Charter (P.O.J.O.C.) tried to hold a solemn rite in our new clubhouse, The Cab, last night. A solemn rite for P.O.J.O.C. generally means an alcohol-fueled game of cards on one side of the room and dice on the other. It was a bit difficult to concentrate though with the torch- and pitchfork-wielding spiritualists gathered outside chanting, “Come, Temple, make your presence known. We’ll give you whiskey and ammo!”

And, finally, The Wife is vacationing at a low-rent motel in Shattuck. I saw she had stocked up on the filterless Pall-Malls before she left. One of her suitcases was filled with cartons of cigs. Cousin Fred told me that a full case of Old Crow was missing from The Cab stockroom.

So, I was looking forward to a solemn P.O.J.O.C. rite despite the spiritualists chanting. I told Terry Two-Fingers to crank up the new 1,000 watt bluetooth loudspeaker with some tunes to drown out the chanting, but something seemed to be blocking the bluetooth signal so instead we listened to a 58 Hz hum.

Then…out of the blue(tooth)…The Compound was raided by the Sheriff’s Dept.

I swear, I didn’t think they worked evenings!

But here they were. The senior officer stepped forward and presented a search warrant for explosive devices in the cow pastures. Hmmmmm (30 Hz). At first, I was pleased that someone in law enforcement was reading the blog yesterday, but then the good warrant presenter informed me that they received an anonymous tip from a liberal refugee that was passing through. I laughed it off, explaining to the good presenter that my use of explosive devices in the blog is really a metaphor. Fortunately, for me, the good presenter didn’t know the meaning of metaphor so I didn’t have to come up with one.

So, for the benefit of any law enforcement reading this blog, there are no explosive devices in the cow pastures around The Compound. It’s a metaphor, I’m tellin’ ya.

After a cursory search around the cow pastures in the dark, they didn’t turn up anything except soiled boots and departed.

As soon as they left, the spiritualists began chanting again and the solemn rite broke up.

But enough of doings here at The Compound! I actually intended to spend this Saturday post discussing more of the antics of the mob of morons on North Lincoln Blvd in Oklahoma City…namely, the Oklahoma State Legislature.

Actually, they were pretty well behaved this past week. HOWEVER, there was the saga of State Representatives Dan “Danny the Vacuum” Kirby and Will “Quad-man” Fourkiller. Fourkiller was a surprise, at least for me. I didn’t know he was being investigated by the secretive legislative panel formed to perform the Spanish Inquisition at the Capitol.

The Covey of Cardinals recommended that Kirby be expelled from the House and any bills he authored be removed from consideration. Well, that’s one way to winnow the number of nonsensical bills I suppose.

The weird thing about Fourkiller is there no mention anywhere (that I’ve been able to find) as to his exact offense. It appears to have involved a House page, which means a minor (pervert). For him, the Covey of Cardinals recommended sensitivity training (?) and no contact with the House page program participants. Sensitivity training? Seriously? What, was he telling the kids dirty jokes or something?

Phew, well glad we got all of that cleared up before the regular session of the legislature convenes at noon on Monday for Mega-Mediocrity 2017.

It’s gonna be great, you’ll see! It’ll turn out better than you think!

That is all!
 

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