Hey everybody, it’s Thursday and we’re all happy to be here…right? Of course, we are! Come on now, pick yourselves up by the short hairs (huh?) and repeat after me, “Act enthusiastic and you’ll be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic and you’ll be enthusiastic, act enthusiastic and you’ll be enthusiastic!”
Okay, now, don’t you feel better? Of course, you do! Don’t you feel ready to face the day? Of course, you do! Umm, let go of the short hairs, people are staring. Friends, have you noticed that since Fearless Leader’s (so-called) speech the other night, confusion and chaos reign? And, I don’t only mean in the Federal government, whose motto translated from the Latin is, “Confusion and Chaos Reign!” It’s everywhere right now. Let’s see, here at The Compound, Cousin Fred and Friend Lamont, inspired by Fearless Leader’s address, decided we need to step up security. I pointed out that there is already a 10-foot fence with razor wire surrounding this place. Cousin Fred would like to mount machine gun emplacements to (I’m quoting here) “lay down fields of suppressive fire as required.” Note to self, no more John Wayne war movies for Cousin Fred. Not happening. As it is now, I must lock away all the weapons here to keep them out of the hands of those two idiots for fear that I’ll be mistaken for a tick-eared jackrabbit or a wily coyote. And then, let’s see, here in Oklahoma we’ll be installing a new governor next week. Kevin “Bull” Stitt is certainly a change after far too many years of Her Royal Highness Mary Queen of Fallin but appears to be cut from the same bolt of cloth. He is a definite Fearless Leader butt kisser (sorry just threw up in my mouth a little). The dude has like 13 kids (repeat after me, BIRTH CONTROL). Makes me wonder if there are enough bedrooms in the governor’s mansion. I guess they can always resort to what Her Royal Highness did which was park her daughter, Hellkat One, in a trailer on the grounds of the capitol. Bull Stitt also has the weirdest haircut on an adult male I think I’ve ever seen. Of course, that be my own hair envy talking there. Actually, he’ll probably fit in well. He’s just slimy (from an ethical standpoint) enough to follow the long line of Oklahoma gubernatorial predecessors for whom ethics and towing the line were an afterthought. Her Royal Highness is off on her new adventure as a high-ranking minister in the government of Pakistan, as we here at CCB reported back in November. We wish her well, don’t eat the raw salad…just saying. BUT, and it’s a big ol’ but, at the core of the confusion and chaos is that disaster of a speech made by Fearless Leader the other night. Seriously. It was mercifully short (thank gawd). He spent his six minutes of air time trashing and blaming the Dems for him not getting his way with the Great Wall of America. By the way, did you hear those gasps of air he was taking in between phrases? I sat listening to it and kept thinking, “what the hell is that?” Then I realized it was him. Creepy. So, some of our fellow Americans who were far too irreverent at just the right time started producing (and posting online) post-speech recordings with all the words removed and only the gasps of air stitched together. Talk about creepy. Of course, the six minutes of Fearless Leader was followed by nearly 90 minutes of the Chuck and Nancy Show and other commentary by news types (cuz we’re not smart enough to do our own analysis). That was followed yesterday by Fearless Leader walking out of a meeting with Dems at The White House. He later tweeted, “bye bye.” Sheesh, some host. Jackass. You know it seems to me that the way to proceed here (one man’s opinion) is for Fearless Leader to go ahead and declare an emergency. Seriously. Let him take the money from DoD to kick start his wall funding. The government will reopen, and things will get back to the dysfunctional wheezing body that it’s always been. Why do I say this, you ask? Because I’m sick to death of listening to the hollow-ringing arguments for putting up a wall in the first place. Personally, it makes no sense to me that it will work. Fearless Leader is trying to placate the rabid right (read as, his base) whom he promised a Great Wall of America to solve the ills of this country. Nancy, of the Chuck and Nancy Show, says a wall is immoral. Immoral? Really? I honestly can’t connect that word to this effort. Folly, maybe. Woefully ill-conceived, perhaps. Besides, making an “immoral” argument against something being put up by an amoral person is like so much pissing in the wind. So, let him rob the DoD. It will fail. Fearless Leader will still be blaming everyone for his failures (a long and distinguished history of that with him). But we won’t have to listen to any more crap about government shutdowns. Life’s too damned short. That is all! Comments are closed.
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