The Oklahoma Attorney General Reads CCB Every Day...We Have Proof...Sort Of!

Good morning everyone!  It’s Thursday!  You know, the day when you’re supposed to meet your friends at the local bar and get hammered so you can go to work Friday with the worst hangover of your life only to get off work late that afternoon as you’re catching your second wind and back out with friends at yet another bar...on and on, Saturday morning with White Russians, by noon Saturday you’re hitting the rum drinks, back out Saturday night, up Sunday morning with the Gin and Tonic, wine Sunday afternoon and then…sigh…back to work Monday morning.  That isn’t your life?  Oops, never mind then.  Guess I was whatta-ya-call-it, projecting (actual new age psych term). 

Apparently, the Oklahoma Attorney General has been reading the Cosmic City Blog…thank you, Mr. Attorney General…er, General Pruitt, sir…eh, whatever. 

CCB has for some time now been pointing out ethics issues that could potentially open the door to potential corrupt practices in the state government (and possibly even county government), particularly with regard to the Oklahoma Corporation Commission where commissioners regularly accept sacks o’ cash from the people they’re supposedly regulating.  I wrote it off as just another “well, it’s always been done that way” kind of Oklahoma thing. 

Of couse, I’ve taken a swing at the OAG himself for “accepting” funds from the huge Tobacco Settlements that the state receives to fluff up his “evidence fund” which no one seems to want to talk about.  But, receiving money for his slush…er, evidence fund…didn’t stop him from taking on potential ethics issues among the state regulators regulating state stuff.

Apparently, the OAG, according to an article posted on the NewsOK.com website, wrote a letter to Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin.  He told HRH that the Federal anti-trust lawsuits were likely to start flowing unless she took immediate action.  The OAG, sly devil that he is, gave HRH two recommended options:  1) Restructure the boards and commissions so that the majority of the membership would have no ties to the industry they’re regulating (seems a reasonable course of action).  He proposed filling the open positions with state officials (a REALLY bad idea given that those officials would come from the world’s most dysfunctional state government); or, 2) Establish an office or agency to regulate the regulators…haha...and I thought the Republicans were all about smaller government.

HRH took all of about 20 minutes before issuing forth a decree (I think HRH called it an Executive Order) that hence forth the Oklahoma Attorney General will have supervisory authority over all state regulated regulators.  Sheesh.  The OAG was only too happy to accept his increased power which allows him to banish from the fiefdom those regulators who really piss him off. 

With his new responsibilities comes a title of his choosing.  His choice was Knight of Nichols Hills (all his neighbors are so envious).  Hey, it was that or Count of Classen Curve.  Word has it that he is being fitted for a suit of armor as we speak. 

Far be it from me to second guess HRH, but frankly the language of the Decree…er, Executive Order…was a bit too specific and legally jargonized for it not to have been written by the OAG himself.  Me thinks, HRH is grooming Sir Scott as heir apparent to the throne when her term is FINALLY up.  It also sets the stage for HRH to avoid prosecution for any wrongdoing that may secretly be going on in OKC.  Just sayin’…

HRH:  Sir Scott, I would remind thee that I placed great power in thy hands during my reign…you owe me, you rat bastard.  Get the Special Grand Jury off my royal buttocks. 

Sir Scott:  Of course, Majesty!  It shall be done as you ask!  Eh, may I measure the royal square footage of the Executive Bed Chamber?  I’m thinking of ordering a California Deluxe Waterbed and want to make certain there’s room for that plus my Bowflex Extreme Home Gym.

Ahhhh…just another day on North Lincoln Blvd.    


Eh, Sir Scott...as long as you're in a mood to grant requests...can you fix tickets?