The GOP Elite are a bunch of old white guys with enlarged prostates in search of a urinal...just sayin'

Welcome to the End-o-Week edition of CCB and what a great ride it’s been.

Cousin Fred is still moping around here over the loss of The Trumps hair-doer Gigi, who earlier this week was of course “rescued” from The Compound by The Trump’s jack-booted, armed thugs. Cousin Fred claims that Gigi isn’t returning calls or texts.

I guess it’s kind of like me not hearing anything from MAD Magazine about my article for them on The Trump in Indianapolis. Not a peep. I suspect they’re still stockpiling the bills for expenses and damages and trying to figure out if they can recoup their money by suing me. Trust me MAD, you won’t.

When I expressed to Cousin Fred that I was getting a little tired of listening to him whine, he took a different tack, pointing out that he had convinced Gigi to snag a pic of The Trump without his whatever that is atop his gourd. That’s when I began to whine. That photo could have made us all wealthy.

Oh sure, The Trump would have sued us and/or sent his private army of thugs back to The Compound, but it would have been worth it just to see all of the major media outlets plastering that photo everywhere people look.

Eh well…so, The Trump was in D.C. yesterday morning. Fortunately, he wasn’t making another foreign policy speech from the Mayflower Hotel. Nope, not this time. This time he was there trying to make peace with the party elite.

For all the good it did…Paul Ryan called his meeting with The Trump “helpful” but he said he still wasn’t ready to make an endorsement. He also refused to have a photo taken standing next to The Trump lest that be taken as a “sign” – judas priest – what a maroon.

The Trump even met with the RNC over at their Headquarters where the RNC chairman whose name no one ever spells or pronounces correctly on the first try, Rinse Pleabrush – see what I mean? – seemed positively giddy about meeting The Trump in person. It’s the orange fake bake tan, I think…it mesmerizes.

What the dumbass GOP elite don’t seem to understand is that they created this monster. I’m beginning to think that the GOP is doomed and will soon go the way of the American Party back in the late ‘60’s. Seriously. This is the majority of their constituency that has brought The Trump this far. You turn your back on him now it could irretrievably split the party.

On the other hand, they (Republican elite) can’t have that knucklehead zooming around the country running his mouth and alienating those individuals that you’re trying to court and make it seem that the GOP isn’t just a bunch of disgruntled old white men with enlarged prostates in search of a urinal.

Seriously, folks, this is great entertainment. And then what will they do if he loses to the Queen of the Unindicted? A scenario that some feel is part of an overall scheme anyway – that The Trump really isn’t in it to become president…he’s just paving the way for his pal Hillary.

I have a proposal into a couple of other magazines, this time People (otherwise known as We’ll Make You Look Pathetic Magazine) and the National Enquirer (hey, their pockets are deep, their facts are suspect and they’re sold in grocery stores – it’s just so American) to sponsor Cousin Fred and I for another embedment, this time with the Clinton campaign.

If I hear something today, I guess Cousin Fred and I will be back out on the road next week. It’ll help take his mind off of Gigi (he claims she gives great pedicures).

Although Tuesday’s primaries are in Kentucky and Oregon, I suspect the Queen of the Unindicted will be headed to California. That primary (June 4) with its 546 delegates is certainly a biggie for her. Besides, I could use a few days in the sun.

In the meantime, have a great weekend everybody. And if you see Gigi, ask her to phone home!
 

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