 Early Wednesday morning here at The Compound. Still contemplating the events of Monday when Trumpocalypse 2016 with its band of fiendishly armed thugs dropped in to fetch back The Trump’s hair-doer, Gigi.
Some compound I live on, eh? Can’t even defend against an air invasion. Well, they were very well armed…but so am I. I’m guessing The Trump was desperate to get Gigi back in time for appearances in West Virginia and/or Nebraska. It now appears that he will preside over a very split Republican Party the most elite of whose membership can’t seem to decide if The Trump is a somewhat less classy, though certainly more cerebral…hmmmm, okay, how about likely more rich…version of Ronald Reagan. Nebraska…who knew they even had a primary? CNN didn’t seem to. If you’re wondering The Trump did take Nebraska. He also smashed The Ghost of Cruz in West Virginia. The Ghost of Cruz now spends his days playing the “if only” game. Seriously, every day it’s something new…this morning’s quote I’m seeing online is “If only Rubio had agreed to be my running mate, we could have beaten Trump.” I guess The Ghost of Cruz can’t be ignored. He does, after all, still have a pocket full of delegates. But, every single day he comes off sounding like an even sorer loser, which I think is what we all kind of thought of him anyway. Give it up Grandpa Munster, save some dignity. My best counsel for The Ghost of Cruz would be to wait another four years and then spring out of the politico grave, kind of like Mitt Romney this year. People will stand around scratching their heads saying, “Oh yeah, I remember that guy! He’s still alive? Who knew?” The Ghost of Cruz’s presumptuous (his presumption, not hers) running mate, Carly Fiorina is wondering why The Ghost of Cruz won’t answer her calls or texts. She’s back to filling out a weekly unemployment form and drawing her $537. “Let’s see, did I look for work this week…yes, was the chosen vice president of the United States candidate…ummm, better leave that off, no one would believe it.” The Altar Boy Kasich is so much dust now. He’s probably back in Ohio shoveling diner breakfasts into his gob and paying consultants to tell him where he went wrong. He spits bits of scrapple at his consultants as he responds to their paid consultation, “Whaddya mean I should have stayed in Ohio? I had some great breakfasts all over this country!” Every day that slides by and The Trump is still at helm leaves people wondering who he will take as a running mate. Who is willing to give up their life for the next four years (assuming The Trump wins) to dedicate elementary schools and play horseshoes with Secret Service on the White House lawn? Rubio seems to be the most likely to be anointed. Haven’t heard much about Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin still being in the running. It would be a good choice though (for the rest of us). Guess she could always get Hellkat One a new trailer. They could park in the shadow of the Washington Monument and steal power from inside the monument with a long extension cord. It would be great! And I don’t mean to imply that the Dems have their act together. Certainly not! The Curmudgeon beat the Queen of the Unindicted in West VA. Apparently there aren’t enough Democrats in Nebraska to even hold a Democratic primary. The Curmudgeon won big though in West Virginia. As he did in Indiana the week before. As he’ll likely do in Kentucky next week. You think the GOP is fractured? The Democrats are even worse. The Queen of the Unindicted had better be paying attentino. Sure, mathematically she’s the presumptive (just love using variations of that root) favorite, but so what? She has the taint of scandal and corruption upon her (deserved or not)…hence queen of the unindicted. Hey, maybe she’ll take HRH Mary of Fallin? Yeah, that’s a great idea! I sooooo want to see Hellkat One living in a trailer somewhere in DC. But I digress… So I spent all day yesterday trying to fix the broken stems on my vast tomato crop on the center lawn here at The Compound. The poor plants were broken and bent from the rotor wash of The Trump’s helicopter. I’ve not seen Cousin Fred. He’s been dragging himself around the place with the hangdog look on his face. Gigi doesn’t return his calls or texts. I have concern he’ll try to get some of his pals from one of the beer joints in Cosmic City to join him in a mission to try to get Gigi back from the clutches of The Trump. Time to lock up the ammo, me thinks. Comments are closed.
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