The Executives at DISH TV are a bunch of rock dwelling, snake kissing, football hating meatheads!

As I was sitting down to write this post, I realized it’s the first for 2017. Happy Freakin’ New Year!

So far, 2017 hasn’t been all that great for me. Take for instance yesterday (Sunday, Jan 8). There was an AFC Wildcard playoff game. I’m sure all of you watched it. You saw Big Ben and Pittsburgh crush that bunch from Miami. Me? Not so much.

I’ve always been a Steelers fan, going back to the 70’s. I don’t know why. So anytime they make it to the playoffs or are on TV, of course I’m going to watch.
Not so much yesterday though…BECAUSE THE GREEDY BLOODSUCKING A-HOLES AT DISH CUT OFF CHANNEL 9…CBS was carrying the game. Hence, our theme for today.

Oh sure, I could have gotten up at midnight last night and watched it on the NFL channel, but it was old news by then.

Interestingly, you poor schmucks with DIRECT TV are having the same problem, though for you it’s Channel 5. I offered to let the Brother-in-Law come to my house to watch Ch 5 (they have DIRECT TV), if I could watch the Steelers game at their house. I made the inquiry on Saturday…heard nothing.

They’re in the middle of calving so I wasn’t too concerned. I drove past their house twice on Sunday morning. The first time, everything was closed up…shades down, etc. The second time there was a sign out front that read, “We aren’t home! This means you!”

Well, I guess they were trying to tell me something.

So, DISH, you blood-from-a-stone flock of war criminals, you’re cutting us off from our beloved Channel 9? They did the same to us last summer with Channel 4…the entire summer. I got past weather hottie Emily Sutton when I realized that Lacey Swope is even hotter and she is friends with me on Facebook – no no-contact orders issued by an Oklahoma Co. judge (yet). And, Tornado Payne-in-the-Ass is way more entertaining (read as melodramatic) than Hands Morgan. So I had settled in on Channel 9.

Plus, now that Channel 9 has the world’s most powerful radar, the Crimes Against Humanity Bunch at DISH are putting our lives in danger!

My contractual obligation with DISH is up this summer. I’m done. I’m moving to a new provider. Not sure which one yet, but I’ll let you know. Here at The Compound, we’re somewhat limited in choices.

So there it is, DISH, you cruel bastards. I bet you pull the wings off flies just to watch them walk across your desk as you count your cash. I’ll bet your CEO eats the fruit and kisses the snake goodnight.

AND, speaking of snakes.

Friends, all of you dedicated readers (it’s been so long since I’ve posted regularly I’ll bet we’re down to two again) know that I have a thing about snakes. Namely, I kill them on sight…with my .45/.410 pistol, “The Judge”. Great snake killer that one.

But, I digress. I’ve gone on for bytes and bytes about my disdain for snakage. I’ve warned you about the g-d things turning up in toilet bowls. I’ve told you time and again to check inside your toilet before you sit down. I told you about the poor fellow in Thailand who sat down only to have an evil serpent grab his dangling bait.

But, did you listen? Yes, apparently you did.

Just saw an article online about a guy in Arlington, VA…Arlington, VA?...who lived in an apartment building found a yellow anaconda in his toilet. Anaconda? Are you shi**ing me? (nyuk, nyuk) And, in January?! O’ the humanities!

Now, let me point out (for those of you too stupid to keep up) that using The Judge to kill a snake in the toilet is a bad idea. What do you do? What Mr. Apartment Snake Finder did…slam the lid down and call animal control. And, pray that your bladder doesn’t burst while you’re waiting on them.

Animal Control got the snake out of the bowl and some animal welfare league managed to get it adopted out to some other reptile kissing freak. Me? I would have had Animal Control move it outside where I would have dispatched it and then ask the Animal Control people to take it to a bootmaker so I get a pair of anaconda boots to use in my Alice Cooper Revue show making the rounds of Best Western lounges across the southwest.

Hmmmm…I wonder where DISH TV’s headquarters is? Maybe it’s time to fill the toilets there with snakes. Is that illegal?

That is all!

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