The continuing adventures of Sticky Buns...Mr. Robin shares his "one thing"...do you love John Wayne movies?

Hey hey everybody! CCB is back from the post-surgical world and ready to deal, so let’s get started. Shall we?

Just a quick update on things here at The Compound. Eh, how the hell would I know? I’ve been a virtual blob for the past week drinking beer and watching John Wayne movies. Life is seldom better than that, I’m telling you!

There’s still no sign of Cousin Fred and Friend Lamont since they left The Compound some time ago in search of the elusive Hairdressing Hydrologist Gigi.

Neither is answering their phone. Not surprising given the last thing they want is for the Secret Service to start pinging the phone to get a fix on them. News footage from Lafayette Square across from the White House shows they’re still camped there, though they’ve taken on some clever disguises.

Well, so to speak. In footage I saw yesterday, Cousin Fred was dressed as a pest control guy splattered with fake blood. Friend Lamont was all dressed out as a giant termite. Their “protest” banner read, “Stop the Mindless Slaughter of Our Termite Brothers!”

Eh, everyone needs a cause, I reckon.

This won’t end well, I’m afraid.

Friends, over the years there’s one thing I’ve learned…nope that’s it, just one thing! I’m very narrowly focused that way, you know. I’m likely to live and die knowing only that one thing I’ve learned. That one thing is that you can never (NEVER) trust the initial or sometimes even the secondary media reports about an event.

Still with that one thing you can cover so much other stuff. My narrow focus opens up to whatever the morons in mass media decide to cover. This is genius, if you think about it. Genius! Think about it, dammit!

Those first few reports are generally filled with inaccurate reporting because whatever version of Clark Kent is rushing to get the story out before the punks at Channel X rush to broadcast with its own version.

Small wonder Fearless Leader gets so freaked out about fake news, am I right? Okay, I’ll get hold of myself…the day I start sympathizing with that fool is the day I fold up the CCB tent and go home.

But, I digress…

Earlier this month, we reported on a couple of landscapers who were doing a job at a client’s home and went inside to take a break where they were soon: a) watching porn; b) pouring syrup and other sticky sweet stuff over their naked bodies, and; c) doing the nasty.

Now because we at CCB take the long view on keen media analysis, we raised the pertinent questions, to wit: “…Nowhere in the report of this was there any mention of whether the homeowners were upset over the shenanigans by landscaping professionals inside their home or the apparent misappropriation of syrup and blueberry jelly…”

Insightful, ain’t we?

The hook in this story was that the female participant (we referred to her as Ms. 2Pot – I don’t remember why) called the cops because the male participant (we called him Sticky Buns) was showing the video of said event around town. Cops gave him a chance to erase said vid from phone, which he of course refused (he was a local celebrity now) and was promptly arrested on a charge of voyeurism.

Okay, that was then, this is now, and there’s an update to the story.

So, it turns out that the two are landscapers, but on that particular day there was no landscaping going on. Makes sense, I guess…who the hell does landscaping in December in Connecticut for Pete’s sake?

But the alleged dirty deed did NOT take place in a client’s house. Nope. It was Sticky Buns’ house and Ms. 2Pot (still don’t recall how I landed on that moniker) was there to help him move.

Sticky Buns, as it turns out, was being evicted from his home.

She had been outside (hence, the initial reports that they were landscaping) helping him load cord wood into a trailer when he disappeared. She went inside to find him naked, pouring syrup on himself, and watching porn – so that much is true.

AND then…wait for it…after being released on a $50,000 bond, Sticky Buns immediately runs home and calls Ms. 2Pot’s friend and tells her to tell Ms. 2Pot that she had better drop the charge or he would “out” her name to the media.

That brought local PD back to Sticky Buns’ door where he was arrested on fresh charges of tampering with a witness (suppose he’s a distant cousin of one of Fearless Leader’s thugs?) and violating a protective order. Now he’s back in jail held in lieu of a $150,000 bond.

But wait, there’s still more.

It turns out that Sticky Buns had the cajones to stand in front of the judge and announce that she (da judge) couldn’t put him back in jail because he was due to appear on the Howard Stern Show the next day.

I’m sure Sticky Buns will enjoy landscaping the prison yard before it’s all over.

Let that be a lesson to you! Not sure exactly what that lesson is, but there’s a lesson in there somewhere!

​That is all!