 Good morning, everybody! It’s Tuesday! We’ve made it this far, I’m sure we’ll get through to Friday without too many of us dropping out. You’ll see, it’ll be great!
Eh, okay, I admit, there isn’t much to live for really. Football is behind us. But, pitchers and catchers report for spring training next week. But then again, the season doesn’t start until the very end of March and even then we only seem to get Yankees, Cardinals and, far too often, Royals games here. Mr. Robin seldom never misses a Nationals and/or Padres game when its on. Then there’s the apparently nutty president we elected who never seems to fail at pissing off someone new on a daily basis and then blaming it on someone else. Oh, and then we have our own very special Governor making a state of the state address, that well…makes me want to make a run for Kansas (it’s cheaper there, you know). But, more on that later. I don’t know if you heard, but the weekly county commission meeting yesterday didn’t go well for us here on The Compound. Of course you didn’t hear. The nearly daily newspaper that covers those meetings wouldn’t report anything like that…and you know why. It seems that the Widow Farkis got up in front of the commission to complain about the “Godless pack of heathens” operating an “illegal den of inequity” along the county road where, by coincidence, The Compound is located. The commissioners seemed unmoved. The sheriff rolled his eyes and faked a call on his cell that he said he had to take and departed. One of the commissioners went back to drawing out a three-panel pamphlet for guiding fishing expeditions along Boggy Creek. Another tried to appear interested in what the good widow had to say, but could only manage the 500 meter stare. The District 3 commissioner asked the good widow to kindly elucidate the commission as to what the hell she was talking about, this time with less gobbledygook (county commissioner speak for, talk plain English). It seems that the Widow Farkis was talking about The Cab here at The Compound. She pointed out that the Pathetic Order of the Jackrabbit – Original Chapter (P.O.J.O.C.) is running (as she put it) an illegal place of business, to wit: an unlicensed, unapproved bar and/or tavern. She wanted the commissioners to shut the place down. Fortunately, the Dist. 3 commissioner pointed out that he knows exactly which building and property she was speaking about and that as far as he knew, it was a private clubhouse for a fraternal organization dedicated to the health and welfare of veterans, widows and orphans inside the county (so much for the pack of heathens argument, am I right?). He told the good widow that unless she had proof that we were selling alcohol to any moron in off the road, there wasn’t anything they could do about it. The Widow Farkis was not assuaged and stormed from the room in a huff. Before she slammed the door to the commissioner’s room, she announced that she was notifying ABLE…Oklahoma’s liquor cops…and let them get to the bottom of it. Ah, nothing like a raid from ABLE in the middle of night to set the tone for the rest of the week. We have that to look forward to, I guess. But, on to even more serious matters. Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin made her annual State of the State Address to members of the moronic state legislature yesterday. Frankly, her speech was full of big words that seemed to fly right over the heads of most of the bunch. The rookies sat up straight and only occasionally looked down at their Big Chief Tablets while trying to make notes with a No. 2 pencil. The veterans did their best not to snooze, though the camera caught several nodding off. Her Highness’s remarks focused on taxes, education, infrastructure, and public safety. Same as last year. Same as the year before. While she offered no concrete solutions to any of the state’s woes, she absolutely hypnotized the gathered morons in her bright red blazer and bedazzling scarf. There was talk of eliminating the grocery tax and corporate income tax, but raising taxes on gas and diesel. Hmmmm…let’s see. I like to eat so eliminating the grocery tax is a good thing. On the other hand I drive 30 miles round trip daily so I can earn enough to eat, so raising the taxes on gas is a bad thing. OHHHH, of course, I get it…this is robbing Christina to pay Mary…it makes sense when you put in a Fallin Family context! She’s all for giving teachers a raise, again, a good thing though she made some comment that the school districts are top heavy. Hmmmm…and, she didn’t offer any ideas for where the money would come from to pay teachers more. That one is dead on arrival for another year, I reckon. She did mention she wants to see a consumption tax on cigarettes. Wait a second, didn’t she ask for that last year? And, didn’t the Republicans in the legislature offer that cigarette smoking is the right of every Oklahoman and that a consumption tax was cruel and unusual? The only thing unusual is that the morons even got around to discussing it last year. So with a flourish of her tanned self, fresh off a working (smirk) vacation in Italy and a few platitudes about rolling up our sleeves and doing the tough work, she was gone. Bet she’s planning her next working (smirk) vacation. And the morons were left to fend for themselves. Let the spitballs fly! Yep, not much to live for…eh well. That is all. Comments are closed.
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