Temple Houston Goes for a Swim in High-Point Beer

Things are beginning to move a bit with Cousin Fred’s secret plans for whatever he’s thinking about doing for/to the Woodward Elk’s Rodeo.  The CCB confidential informants at the Elks Lodge tell me that “Cowboy Cody” has forwarded a somewhat more detailed proposal for providing ten minutes of “quality family entertainment” in between rodeo events each night. 

The proposal according to my CI’s is for the world’s first underwater Wild West show.  Cowboy Cody proposes rolling a large (now there’s an understatement) 10,000 gallon aquarium into the center of Crystal Beach Stadium where live (though perhaps soon-to-be-drowned) performers will reenact the shootout inside the Cabinet Saloon between Temple Houston, Jack Love, and the Jennings brothers.  Apparently, the entertainment committee of the rodeo committee of the Woodward Elks Lodge have bought into it (hopefully they haven’t paid any money yet – this is after all Cousin Fred we’re talking about) and contracted with Cowboy Code Rides Again Enterprises to perform each night. 

So I’m trying to imagine how Cowboy Cody (aka, Cousin Fred) is going to pull this off.  For one thing, the thought of an actor playing Temple Houston underwater with breathing apparatus attached going through the motions of a 19th century gunfight is just bizarre beyond words me thinks.  It’ll be worth the price of admission to the rodeo just to see what happens.

In the meantime, the nephew called in a panic last night because he received a call from one of those companies in Oklahoma City that move oversized loads across the state.  They were calling to inform the nephew that they’ll be delivering an unbelievably oversized Plexiglass aquarium to his place today. They wanted to make certain that they will be able to transfer the container directly to his flatbed trailer. 

Unfortunately, the nephew is working today and needs his trailer elsewhere.  Hence, his panic.  The nephew’s wife doesn’t want the thing dropped onto their property.  I told the nephew, welcome to the world of Cousin Fred.  I suggested he go on to work, but as he goes out the gate of his property to pull his other truck across the entrance, effectively blocking the delivery.  Oh, I also suggested he not answer his cell phone today.  He agreed to do so.

In the meantime, I suppose I should contact Cousin Fred directly and see if I can talk some sense into him.  On the other hand this should be amusing to watch…particularly since it doesn’t (yet) involve me.  As I’m working on this posting it’s not even 6AM yet and I’m seriously considering adding a little Jack Daniel’s to my coffee to ease my pain.

And, while we’re on the subject of alcoholic beverages and pain easing…

There was an article on the NewsOK.com web site that kind of jumped out at me.  It seems that Anheuser-Busch of Oklahoma is pulling out of the trade organization, Beer Distributors of Oklahoma, reportedly due to a dispute over the modernization of Oklahoma’s liquor laws. 

The dispute reportedly stemmed from Anheuser-Busch’s definition of modernization of Oklahoma’s laws, which is focused on the ability of retailers to sell cold, high-point beer in their stores.  Interestingly, the case being made by the Beer Distributors of Oklahoma is really not much different though it is a bit less specific.  Their version refers to the strengthening of Oklahoma beer laws. 

If you’ve ever read my blog postings, you know I’m no fan of the morons that “work” at 2300 North Lincoln Blvd.  Somehow, I can’t help but think that they have a hand in “beer reform” not moving forward.  The Beer Distributors of Oklahoma have been at this for decades and are getting nowhere. 

Seems to me the trade group should move forward by accepting a few precepts:  1) the Oklahoma State Legislature is corrupt and loco; 2) State Legislators are almost exclusively a bunch of greedy self-righteous hypocrites; 3) none of the above is likely to change in our lifetime; and, 4) the quickest way to a Legislator’s brain is through cash contributions so they can get their swimming pools relined before next spring.

In summary, dear Beer Distributors of Oklahoma…fill a few sacks with cash and pay off the rat bastards in Oklahoma City if you want beer reform.  I would point out that it works well for the oil/gas guys, but that always pisses off my oil/gas friends so I won’t go there.

Me, I have little faith in the dummies on the legislature to do anything worthwhile, though I did see that they’re working hard to raise the speed limit through the Panhandle by 5 mph…oh, and let’s not forget the legislation that made it legal to possess switchblades.  Dumb asses.

I’m off to Kansas for a case of Stella Artrois, it’s cheaper there you know.