![]() Good morning everybody! Hope everyone is well as we slide through yet another holiday season. My best advice for surviving is to keep a smile on your face and a hand on your wallet. Oh, and never pass up a bathroom. Okay, enough with the sage advice. Friends, if you have a daughter, you’ll understand where I’m headed with this posting. If your daughter is still a teen or even younger…heed my message! It CAN happen to you. Faithful readers (yeah, right, I see you sneaking looks at The Lost Ogle when I’m not around) may remember my very first posting in this blog. It was about my own trials and tribulations with my daughter as she went through a seemingly endless conga line of young men. They ranged from scary to brutally handsome, from seemingly bright to completely vapid and everything in between. But, this isn’t about my daughter…thankfully. You Ogle sneaking faithful may also recall a previous CCB posting from the heart of Little Dixie (aka, Tulsa) in which a young woman showed up at the funeral of a romantic rival and proceeded to carve up the corpse with a knife. Hahaha…that Tulsa…always good for a laugh. Am I right? There was a report earlier this week that ran nationwide (I got mine from the Huffington Post web site), so I’ll try to put my special CCB spin on it so you don’t think you’re reading the same old crap and go over to TLO. Okay, insert theme from Dragnet here. It seems a man in Tulsa told police he was robbed by two people, one of whom had some very distinctive ink on his face. I’ve done my best to add a mug shot to this story. If it doesn’t work (I need a new blog host), I’ll describe our perp’s tatts. First there are the demonic horns on the dude’s forehead, which weren’t even done evenly…one horn is lower than the other. Guess that’s what you get when you go to the tattoo outlet mall. His left cheek has a tatt of a pair of lips, like he had been kissed by a female who had just applied lipstick. The right cheek is adorned with a tatt of the infamous Nazi Schutzstaffel (SS) emblem. Cute…class act, this dude. But, the coup de grace…truly, the height of class for numbnuts everywhere. He inked F*** Cops (without the asterisks) over his eyebrows. Great decision there Ink-boy! Nothing subtle about that. I’ll bet this genius won the American Legion essay contest on Keeping Good Order and Discipline in America. Probably used his prize money to pay for the ink. So you put him up against the mug shot of the girlfriend, who looks pretty normal and you’re probably thinking, “WTF?” Seriously, she had to know something was amiss with Ink-boy by looking at his face. And, hey, Ink-boy…why tattoo horns onto your forehead when you can have implants done. That’s way more intimidating…if that was the effect you were after. So anyway, these two bust into some poor slob’s home in Tulsa. Ink-boy threatens him with a knife. Poor Slob hands over his wallet and Ink-boy disappears into the night. Stupid Girlfriend stays behind insisting that Poor Slob give her more money. Huh? Turns out (oh, how the world turns), Poor Slob is Stupid Girlfriend’s old boyfriend. SHE KNEW HIM! AND HE KNEW HER! This isn’t so much a criminal act as it is a pathetic evening out on the town in Tulsa. Stupid Girlfriend finally left when Poor Slob picked up his phone to dial 911. Let’s see…Tulsa’s crack crime fighting team had a pretty simple task before them. They knew who the female perp was…the victim’s former girlfriend. They had a great description of the male perp with markings that couldn’t be removed no matter how much “Ink Out” he applied to his skin. They were caught and both are sitting in the Tulsa County jail. Him on a $100,000 bond. Her on a $50,000 bond. More Dragnet theme. Now, we don’t have all of the facts at our fingertips. Why do you suppose they decided to rob the ex-boyfriend? Perhaps he had a pile of cash that belonged to Stupid Girlfriend and she wanted it back? Yeah, that didn’t work out so well for O.J. Simpson in Vegas, baby…now did it? Or, perhaps Poor Slob had his own pile of cash and she knew about it and wanted to get her some. Let’s see what we’ve learned here, shall we? 1. If you’re a father and you see your daughter hanging out guys with ink all over their face, ship her off to do missionary work in remote southern Africa. 2. If you’re a normal girl/woman or even if you’re not (normal), the old thing about ladies love outlaws is a song lyric…nothing more. 3. If you’re going to take up a life of crime and have ink all over your face, for Pete’s sake, get a ski-mask. 4. If you’re going to take up a life of crime, avoid robbing people you know. 5. Stay the hell out of Tulsa! Comments are closed.
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