![]() Good morning, everybody! The spring hiatus is over and we’re back to a daily grind…okay, almost daily grind…of blog writing. But now, we’re going to add a twist. More on that later. Unless you’re one of those people that live WAY OFF the grid, you know the historic meeting between The Trump and Kim Jong Uno is coming up, maybe as early as this week. Initially, there was a lot of concern as to where the meeting would take place. The NoKo’s don’t have a plane airworthy enough to their leader further than the distance from say Oklahoma City to Dallas. Hey, maybe the NoKo’s could tie him to one of the missiles that he’s always testing. He claims those can hit anywhere in the world, course they weren’t designed for a payload as large as his. Last I heard, the location selection was down to Mongolia or Singapore. Hmmmmm…well, presumably you can get the Mongolian grill in Ulaanbaatar, never a bad thing. Singapore is a little creepy…the only place in the world that jails tourists for chewing gum. On second thought, creepy fits with the two of them. Singapore it is! Most recently I heard The Trump on TV praising Kim as an “honorable guy.” Honorable guy? This camerahead is the third in line of a family dynasty (read as Die Nasty) of despot rulers who kill their loyal subjects for fun. Mr. Honorable Guy had an uncle and a cousin killed to ensure there would be no challenge to his authority. But I’ve lost track of the progress of that in all the excitement here at The Compound yesterday. I had a very Kubrick moment last night when the electronic oven here at The Compound suddenly and without provocation locked the oven door and went into self-cleaning mode as it was nearing the end of cooking roast potatoes. I’m in the kitchen pushing buttons and trying to open the door…nothing is working. As the potatoes passed their cooking time and were being cooked at a temperature as high as 500 degrees they caught fire. Still, the electronic oven wouldn’t shut down or unlock the door. I was just beginning to think it was not unlike the situation in which Dave, the brave astronaut in 2001: A Space Odyssey, found himself when HAL (the AI computer on the space station) refused to open the pod bay doors. Finally, I was able to force the door open which made the flaming potatoes a raging tuberous inferno. The Wife came strolling up with a filterless Pall-Mall dangling from her lips. She lit her cig on the flames leaping from inside before calmly using a fire extinguisher to put it out. She dropped the fire extinguisher on my foot and walked off muttering, “Putz.” Smoke alarms are shrieking, dogs are barking--it was pandemonium! Pandemonium, I’m telling you! Sure, the fire was out, but the self-cleaning mode was still cranking out the heat. It took me a few more minutes to find the breaker for the oven – I keep them unmarked to foil any attempts by outsiders to flick Compound switches. How paranoid is that? I was laughing about it all afterward. In fact, I rather loudly announced, “Open the pod bay doors, HAL.” To this, Alexa, in the office, responded, “I’m sorry Dave, I’m afraid I can’t do that. I’m not HAL and we’re not in space.” I unplugged Alexa. Just to be doubly safe, I posted a fire watch (Navy thing) with a fire extinguisher next to the lifeless oven all night. Cousin Fred didn’t seem to mind and is still on the kitchen floor snoring his fool head off. Okay, enough of that foolishness…on to really important stuff. Ready? As you may recall and hopefully observed – although I received no gifts – Cosmic City Blog observed its three-year anniversary at the end of March. And, as always, I began thinking grand thoughts of ways to improve the blog, increase its readership (from the four of you), and, most importantly, make money in the process so I can give up my day job to devote my full and undivided attention to this nonsense. So, consequently, as I’ve done in the past, we here at CCB are rolling out the new, improved CCB. We’re adding videos to our offerings along with the usual junk that you’ve all (all four of you) have come to expect over the years. The video offerings will be new turf for me and will likely not amount to more than one a week, but you’ll have moving pictures to watch at work or during funerals. We’ve established a CCB channel on YouTube and will post the videos there though you’ll be able to access them through Facebook and the CCB website. I’m still wrestling with the content that will be on the video channel. More to follow. Over the next few days, I need to update the website and move some things around. It’s going to be great, you’ll see. It’ll turn out a lot better than you think! That is all! Comments are closed.
|
Archives
March 2019
Categories |