Great coogley moogley…what a day yesterday! So much bloggable stuff, I barely know where to start. Let’s see…we’ll start with Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin’s State of the State speech before those horseturd-chucking morons in the State Legislature. Was it just me, or did HRH actually seem kind of moderate and (dare I say?) conciliatory, almost…human? Cousin Fred and I played a State of the State drinking game during the speech. I took a shot of Mezcal every time HRH used the word “I”. Cousin Fred took a shot of Tequila every time she used the word “we” or some form of we. At the end of the speech, Cousin Fred was trashed…dead asleep, snoring and muttering something about non-violent offenders running rampant in the streets. Of course, we have no idea which “we” she was referring to. If she’s counting on those broke-dick morons in the legislature, she needs to start hitting the bottle. It’s going to be a long, stupid legislative session. Cousin Fred is still on the floor as I’m typing this posting. The Wife took off last night as soon as Cousin Fred came through the door with two bottles of liquor. Figure she’s camping out at a local motel wondering why, oh why she ever agreed to move here. I was actually surprised by HRH’s speech. It seemed kind of moderate, middle of the road even, much to the chagrin of rabid GOP legislators who kept looking at one another in bewilderment. Course there’s the matter of how the stuff she was proposing will be paid for. She seemed to have those answers, but then again it’s in the hands of a moronic state legislature that’s more interested in writing frivolous legislation to impress the folks back home than they are in actually getting anything substantive done. And speaking of frivolous legislation…the cameras in the room kept moving past that batshit-crazy-cow Sally Kern, but every time they did you could see she was writing furiously. Probably drafting more hate legislation. Bet she was writing a proposal to burn LGBT Oklahomans in their respective town squares. How does she keep getting reelected? Will someone please run against her next time? Believe her district is NW Oklahoma City…surely, there’s a reasonable human being among you people there. At one point the camera paused on her. I guess she could sense it because she looked up at it with those weird eyes of hers and mouthed something that I swear was “Jesus was a heterosexual”. Other than that there were no bizarre antics by those legislators who were elected to their positions by citizens who wanted them gone from their towns. “I know, let’s elect Creepy Clem to the state legislature…that way we won’t have to lock up our daughters at night.” Once that was over, I flipped over to the Iowa Caucus…Judas Priest, what an evening. Cousin Fred in his near catatonic alcohol-induced state began muttering, “Donald, Donald, he’s my man! He’ll make America great again!” Immediately thereafter, he emitted a loud fart and began snoring again. I was a bit surprised to see Cruz finish on top, particularly after he threatened to have non-voting Iowans arrested. Maybe he and Sally Kern need to get together and compare notes. As far as I’m concerned, Sanders won. No one a few weeks ago gave anyone but the Queen of the Unindicted any real chance. That “virtual tie” is a definite win for Uncle Bernie. It’s going to be a long, bloody ride to the conventions this summer and then on to the general election in November. I can hardly wait. And speaking of weirdness…cuz that’s what we’re all about here at CCB. Bringing you the weird, the unusual, the borderline offensive so you don’t have to go looking for it yourself. You’re welcome. About this time last year, pre-CCB, I read about an obscure female Japanese artist who used a 3-D printer (gotta me one of those) to produce a sea-worthy kayak fashioned after her vagina. Seriously. I can’t possibly make up something like that. There were pictures of her in her vagina boat on Tokyo Bay paddling about and smiling for the camera. She called it art. The authorities called it obscene and arrested her. She was arrested again after she produced cell phone cases and landscape dioramas in image of her vagina. Apparently, prosecutors were having a tough time pressing an obscenity charge against our earnest off-beat artist. So, as prosecutors did with Al Capone (who never adorned anything with a vagina) when they prosecuted him for tax evasion because they couldn’t make anything else stick, they stuck earnest off-beat artist with a charge of transmitting images of genitalia over a cell-phone tower, or some such nonsense. They’re demanding a $6,600 fine from her. I’m sure someone will pay up. Maybe she should leave Japan for a while until things cool down. Hey, I’ll bet the Museum in Cosmic City would display her art! No, bad idea. Sally Kern would flip out and burn the place to the ground. Sigh. Comments are closed.
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