Robin is a Boy-Genius Who Really Hates Bulgarian Folk Dance Music

You know, I’ve been called a lot of things in life…just ask any of my ex-wives, they’ll be happy to share.  Over the years I don’t recall anyone ever referring to me as a genius.  But now at this very moment in Robin history, I’m stepping up to make that claim…yes, gentle readers, I am a genius!  And, what makes me so special you ask?  Because I tapped into the meaning of life and a great source of happiness years ago (and didn’t realize it).  And, no, it has nothing to do with sipping Jack Daniel’s in front of a Robin campfire (though that probably qualifies as a close second).  Allow me to explain…

I’ve always been a music fan.  Just about any kind of music.  My sister and I were exposed to music constantly throughout our childhood.  My Dad is a real gigging musician with an innate ability to pick up an instrument and teach himself to play it by ear (hate that about him…I always had to work hard at it).  In fact, he’s a Western Swing hall of famer.  My mother used to play Elvis and Johnny Rivers records at home.  To this day, I can’t wait to finish the Thanksgiving meal so I can strike up Elvis’ “Blue Christmas”…what a great song (I do a really cool version of that song singing as Elmer Fudd – another reason to invite me to your next Christmas party and give me wine).  When we would stay with my Aunt Deane during the day in the summer, she often played Andy Williams or Frank Sinatra albums.  The genre never seemed to matter…Classical, Opera, Rock, Country Western, Hard Rock, Punk, Glam-Punk, Metal, Jazz, Outlaw Country, Texas Blues, Delta Blues, Chicago Blues, Methodist Hymns, odd-ball tunes from the ‘20’s and ‘30’s (thanks to Dr. Demento)…I love it all.  Hell, I even have a CD of Bulgarian folk dance music…zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

So, I was surprised when people were shocked about my plan to hold a CCB Thrash Metal Jam Festival here at the compound this summer.  I’ve always enjoyed metal music…Judas Priest, Metallica, Black Sabbath, Pantera…there is something about crunching guitar chords and singers screaming out lyrics at three octaves above the range of a normal human being that I find enjoyable…downright pleasurable, really.  Now I know why…

I came across an article on the Huffington Post web site about a study conducted by Australia’s University of Queensland and published in the “Frontiers in Human Neuroscience” scientific journal (What, you don’t subscribe?  Me either…my only magazine subscriptions nowadays are “Rolling Stone” and “MAD”). 

In the study, they used 39 subjects all of whom were subjected (haha…subjects subjected…get it?  I crack myself up.) to an anger-inducing process (bet they made them drive around Oklahoma City at rush hour) to make them really, well…angry.  Baseline angry-subject measurements were taken (heart-rate, etc.).  Some of the participants were told to sit quietly in isolation for ten minutes, the rest were exposed to metal music.  Turns out the metal heads calmed down much faster than the quiet sitters. 

The Australian findings were backed by a similar study done in Israel.  No one is sure exactly why it works.  There was some mention of angry, aggressive music being played for someone feeling angry and aggressive triggering something in the brain that eases their pain. 

Guess when I used to blast Judas Priest’s “You’ve Gotta Another Thing Comin’” through headphones at a sound level equivalent to an F/A-18 in afterburner, I was doing more than causing irreversible hearing loss, I was soothing my brain.  GENIUS! 

And to think, I used to believe the meaning of life was clean smelling sheets (let it roll around in your head for a bit, it’ll come to you).  Maybe, just maybe, it’s actually Ted Nugent (aka, Uncle Ted) cranking “Wango Tango”…who knew?

So…plans are proceeding apace for the CCB Thrash Metal Jam Festival here at the compound this summer. The headlining band will be Texas Grapefruit Lies…my personal fav (okay, actually they’re the only band to agree to do the gig so far).  The entire line-up will be announced as the day grows closer.  We were considering doing the festival over the Fourth of July weekend, but that puts us in head-to-head competition with the City of Woodward’s brand of Fourth fun and it’s always difficult to compete with turtle races.  Besides, on Friday night there’s a free show with “The Kentucky Headhunters”…I don’t want to miss that.  Great band.

Figure if Lake Mountebank hasn’t fully receded by then, we’ll just pass out inner-tubes and let people float during the festival.  

Bang your heads, Brothers and Sisters…bang your heads!

Another disclaimer from our disbarred and disgraced (non)attorney spokesperson:  Despite our fearless founder’s claims of genius, we at CCB strongly recommend against listening to anything he has to say…he’s an idiot.  Further, CCB recommends against playing any kind of music through headphones “at a sound level equivalent to an F/A-18 in afterburner”…you’ll ruin your hearing!  Finally, there is nothing wrong with Bulgarian folk dance music, we at CCB really enjoy it so please stop sending us “newer, better” New Wave Bulgarian Folk Dance Music CDs.  We have all we need.