Robin Imparts Pearls of Friggin' Wisdom

It occurred to me when I saw the Graduation supplement of the Woodward News yesterday morning that Woodward High School’s graduation ceremony is fast approaching.  I’m a bit disappointed that yet another graduation is passing without someone asking me to be the commencement speaker. 

I recall the seniors in my class voting on who we wanted to speak at our graduation.  I think I wrote in Hunter S. Thompson.  As I recall, we wound up with a Woodward Junior High (now called Middle School) social studies teacher or some such nonsense.  Eh, maybe Dr. Thompson was busy that day.

You’re probably rolling your eyes and thinking, “My goodness, can you imagine the commencement address the dude from CCB would give? What pearls of sage wisdom could he possibly impart to our grads that wouldn’t cause them to run out the door, move to Ellis County, and join the Salvation Army?”

Good point.

Eh, maybe I’m not the best choice for making a memorable speech to send the little punks off to adulthood.  Other than courses in band, speech, art, and English, my academic career at WHS was less than stellar.  I left Woodward for the Navy soon after I graduated.  While that worked out in ways I couldn’t possibly have imagined or even predicted at the time, it’s not a route I would recommend to anyone else. 

Besides, as I’ve gotten older, I’ve developed more of a deep cynicism about humanity as a whole complemented by a perverse sense of humor.  Besides, I hate commencement speeches wherein the speaker tells the graduating class what wonderful opportunities lie before them just waiting to be plucked (like Grandma Johnson’s run away rooster).  Blah, blah, blah.  Maybe it would do for someone to get up in front of this graduating class and tell ‘em what really to expect.

So here are Robin’s pearls of friggin’ wisdom…take or leave it…eventually, you’ll say, “You know, he was right!”

• Relish your successes and the happy times in your life.  Wallow in them.  Lick them with salt and lime.  The memories will live longer that way.
  
  
• Don’t dwell on the bad times.  They’ll drag you down.  Life is too short.
  
  
• Always carry a knife.
  
  
• Don’t give so-called mistakes any room in your life.  Learn from the experience and move on.
  
  
• Respect the law, but don’t let it push you around.
  
  
• Question authority.
  
  
• Stay out of politics.  Politicians lose their ability to tell the truth as soon as they declare a candidacy for anything (noted exception: the Woodward County Court Clerk who is the most honest person I know).
  
  
• Always play fair.  You’d want someone to do the same with you.
  
  
• Credit is a tool.  Use it.  Don’t abuse it.
  
  
• Money isn’t everything.  The old adage about the more you make, the more you spend is true.  Live within your means.
  
  
• If you take one course of instruction in your adult life, for goodness sakes take a course on personal finance.   
  
  
• A college education is important, but it isn’t the end-all, be-all.  Putting yourself into decades of debt to pay off student loans is NOT worth the price of admission.  Who cares if you’re 30 or even 50 when you get your degree?
  
  
• Read…read everything you can get your hands on.  It’s the quickest path to critical thought, which makes for a whole individual.
  
  
• If you work for somebody, dammit work for them.  Take pride in what you do.
  
  
• Try to find a job doing something that you’ll really enjoy.  It makes life much more tolerable.
  
  
• That mantra that you used to hear the older folks tell you, “Life goes by faster and faster as you get older.”  It’s true.  Seriously, it’s true.  Relish every day that you’re still upright. 
  
  
• Avoid becoming a friggin’ sheep.  Think for yourself.  Don’t be afraid to express those thoughts.
  
  
• Spend some time in the sun every day…even if it’s only for a few minutes.
  
  
• But, wear sunscreen.
  
  
• Travel while you’re young.  Makes for interesting dinner conversation down the road.
  
  
• Take advantage of every stinking opportunity that comes your way.  You never know where it will lead you.
  
  
• Do whatever you do in moderation…you live longer that way.
  
  
• Agnew was right…the media in all its forms are evil.
  
  
• Bond got it wrong…martinis are better stirred, not shaken…with three olives.
  
  
• Be a teacher…doesn’t pay worth a darn, but it’s a noble occupation. 
  
  
• Don’t smoke.  It’s expensive.  It’s harmful.  And it’s hard to find places to smoke.  And, you’re playing into the Oklahoma Attorney General’s hands.
  
  
• If you can play music…play music.  If you can’t read or sing a note…play music.  There’s something very primal and grounded in music.  It’s good for the soul. 
  
  
• Write…write anything…but, do it daily. 
  
  
• Finally, your gratitude should always exceed your expectations. 
  
  

Okay, enough of that stuff.  Get on with your lives.  Enjoy life.  It passes too quickly.  Someday you’ll thank me (expensive gifts are happily accepted).

Congratulations to all of the graduating seniors in Northwest Oklahoma and best of luck to you!