Robin Gets His Own Reality Show Where He Philosophizes About Moon Rocks, Art, and Jackrabbits

I don’t know if anyone else noticed, but yesterday’s (5/14) front page of Woodward News seemed awfully “busy” looking.  Three articles all of local interest, two with largish and interesting (okay, one was a bit odd) photos.  It was truly a front page to remember.  Hopefully, someone will frame that front page for posterity.  I’ll be able to tell my grandkids about that front page.  I know…let’s dissect the front page…shall we?

First up, at the top, Rachael Van Horn (she needs a nom de plume, I must work on that) writes an article about the Woodward Art Walk.  The idea was developed by the Woodward Main Street organization and aims to raise money for purchasing handicapped accessible playground equipment to be placed in Centennial Park.  Beyond the fund raising effort, the Art Walk also highlights the work of local artists who might not otherwise have a means for showing or selling their work.  We at CCB applaud the efforts of Janet Fitz and Woodward Main Street for doing all that they do to keep the downtown area viable. 

I was a little surprised to read that the Art Walk has been going on since May 1st.  Why the News is only running this story now – halfway through the month of May – is beyond me.  But, the Art Walk in businesses downtown runs through the end of May.  Please stop in to patronize the businesses that have graciously provided space for the art and view the work of some of our local artists. 

Next down the page was an article written by a relatively new correspondent at the News, Kevin Weiss (he needs a nick also…hey, I’m working on it).  His piece is about an upcoming exhibit of a moon rock and assorted meteorite samples on May 20th at the Plains Indians and Pioneers Museum.  I would point out that he got the name of the museum wrong, but as I’ve said before I’m beyond constantly pointing out the editorial mistakes in the Woodward News.  Just wanted to make certain that everyone goes to the correct place to see the moon rocks. 

I know, I know…the conspiracy theories about how the moon landings were all staged hoaxes have been floating around for years.  I never gave it much thought until several years ago, I met a retired electronics engineer out in Washington State who, prior to retirement, had worked for North American Rockwell, the contractor that designed the Apollo capsule and all of its systems.  According to this guy, the whole thing was staged.  He said that the technology to do the things they supposedly did to get astronauts to the moon and back just didn’t exist at the time.  If you have the time, it’s worth looking up moon landing conspiracy theories.  There’s one or two that are kind of compelling.  Frankly, I’m still on the fence…to tell the truth the retired electronics engineer was knee-walking drunk at the time he shared his secret with me.  So who knows?

The most important thing is to visit the Plains Indians and Pioneers Museum.  It’s a great resource for learning about the rich and colorful history of the area in which we live.  Please, please visit the museum and give it your support.

Okay…I’ve save the best for last.  At the bottom of the first page that will live forever, there was an article (again, written by nom de plumeless Van Horn) about a local fellow who is trying to get on a reality show called (and I’m not making this up) “Broken Skull Challenge”.  The show involves cast members running a timed obstacle course and then wrestling (I told you…I can’t make this up) other cast members.  Presumably the winner goes on to other challenges and more wrestling.  Our intrepid reality show candidate is a corrections officer at William S. Key, so I suspect he has had his share of wrestling experience.  The photo at the top of the article shows our cast member candidate shirtless and wearing a pair of shorts during an interview with the show’s producers via Skype.

What struck me about this guy, is his determination and drive to win the competition.  Not just to make it onto the show, but win the whole enchilada.  He wants to use the $10,000 prize money to get his wife and FOUR daughters into a larger home.  That’s really cool.  I wish him well.  We’ll be watching.  Best of luck.  And I pray I don’t find myself in William S. Key at some point.

Me…I’m trying to start my own reality show.  The premise will be that I sit on the porch of the compound, sip red wine and philosophize.  I’ll solve everybody’s problems.  I guess we could spin it that I wrestle with dilemmas affecting most rural Northwest Oklahomans.  For instance, should I use field loads in the 12 Gauge for jackrabbits or something a bit more sporting like a full-auto AK-47?  If they don’t stay off my lush, green lawn and/or stop eating the bark off of my mimosa tree…jackrabbits must die!  By the way, I actually found a recipe for grilling jackrabbits on Weber Kettle Grills…who’s in?

Oh, gotta go.  The wife is telling me that PETA is on the phone and want to have a word with me.

On the advice of our disbarred and disgraced corporate attorney, we’re making the following statement regarding this post: At no time during the writing or posting of this post were any Woodward News staff writers, local artists, moon rocks, reality show candidates, William S. Key Corrections Officers, jackrabbits, or PETA callers actually harmed.  Okay, we may have hurt a few feelings, but they’ll get over it.  Buck up, Shipmates (Navy thing)!  As for PETA…stop calling.  If you’re an Oklahoma Game Warden, we at CCB assure you that we would never shoot or pummel a jackrabbit out of season even if they are a pest and eat everything in sight at the compound.  And please feel free to continue making your daily stop in our pasture to urinate before heading back into town.