 Happy Monday afternoon everybody. I'm out for a few days on some medical weirdness so I've decided to run a few days of CCB greatest hits (so to speak). And, they've all been voted on by you without you knowing (isn't technology grand?).
According to the statistics on this site, what follows is the top post - though after reading it I'm not sure why. Eh well, it's the will of the peoples I guess! Enjoy! ***** Wow…Tuesday already. The week is just zipping by. Recall seeing a meme go past on Facebook recently that said, “Nothing messes up your Friday like finding out it’s only Tuesday.” Now, that’s profound! Things are returning to a basic sense of order here at The Compound. Or, at least as much as things can…considering the looney bin my life has become. All of Cousin Fred’s minions have returned to their underground county bar, The Pukin’ Dog Lounge, like so many cockroaches heading for the pantry when the lights go on. They were camped over in the south pasture since the Fourth. Turns out, they just needed a ride back to the PDL, or the PooDLe as we here at The Compound now call it. We managed to load them all onto a flatbed trailer yesterday and get them over there. At least I can walk out onto my lawn now in the morning without being greeted by the sight of 50 naked bodies performing Tai Chi at sunrise. It was cutting into my own naked sunrise greeting. The Wife finally came down from the roof when the winds picked up a couple of days ago. Once her big-ass beach umbrella took off for Kansas there wasn’t much to keep her up there. Gigi has gone back to New York to pick up the hairdressing or whatever that is of The Trump’s do. His daughter did an okay job, but Gigi kept seeing him on TV and pointing out that Ivanka wasn’t wrapping it around his head in the right direction. She left her Lexus here…a sure sign she’ll be back, I suppose. Cousin Fred got the artesian well pit filled back in, for now. He insists that everything stops until we see what Lawyer X can do to get the state to drill a well for free. It certainly won’t be anytime this summer that Lake Mountebank refills, at least not fed by an underground spring. The courts are so backed up that the preliminary hearing is set for sometime in February 2017. It’ll be worth it to see Lawyer X trying to cover both sides, objecting to himself and then objecting to the objection to himself. It’ll be worth the price of admission, I’m telling you! By the way, for those of you wondering why we haven’t been talking about the series we shot up in Colorado for our new reality series, Bigfoot: Naked and Untamed, it’s because it looked as though the Bigfoot thing was beginning to die out. First, the Zombies then the Bigfoot. It’s getting so you can’t depend on mythical beings for anything! Ahhhh, but then! Yesterday, I was perusing the Huffington Post website and what do you think I found? Not one, but TWO, count ‘em TWO separate articles about the Bigfoot. WE’RE BACK! The first was a piece about ESPN Magazine shooting its annual body issue which generally has photos of athletes of all genders, shapes and sizes naked. So, the makers of that beef jerky that has the Bigfoot as its mascot, (Jack Link’s, I think) thought it would be fun to pose the Bigfoot a la Burt Reynolds in Cosmo back in the day. The result was an 8 foot Sasquatch reclining with a raccoon in front of his ummmm parts. Not sure I get the raccoon, but whatever. Well, that got me to thinking that maybe there’s a Sasquatch revival coming, but then I realized that it’s just a commercial ploy to sell more dried out beef. But then, further down the page, there was an article about the one of the two men who filmed the infamous Bigfoot footage back in the 60’s that became the documentary that dumbass kids my age went into a theater to watch, called…well, I can’t remember what the theater release was called, but it contained the most famous one minute of an “actual” Bigfoot tramping along near a creek shown over and over and over. Google Patterson-Gimlin film, you can find it. Anyway, the sole remaining filmmaker Bob Gimlin, who is well into his 80’s now, says that he wishes he had never left home to go Bigfoot hunting with his pal, Roger Patterson. The HuffPost piece entitled, “Bigfoot Ruined My Life” tells how Gimlin has had to endure decades of humiliation as the butt of jokes about the film. And, do you know, that both of those articles no sooner went viral – well as viral Huffington Post can be – than the phone begin ringing. I received a call from Chick Farris’ altogether able assistant Fergus yesterday. Fergus informed me that Chick is working a deal to land a permanent home for Bigfoot: Naked and Untamed on some cable channel. There’s even talk about shooting a second season already. So, I guess we’re off and running again. Cousin Fred says that no matter the outcome in Hollywood, we have to be back here before Labor Day though. It seems that he is planning yet another Holiday Extravaganza. Maybe someday Huffington Post will do an article about me entitled, “Cousin Fred Ruined My Life!” Comments are closed.
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