 You know, sometimes trying to write this blog on an almost daily basis is really easy. This is particularly so when something so unbelievably bizarre drops into said blogger's lap. Take for instance today's post from CCB posts past from April 13, 2015 in which a couple OKC residents are arrested for "attempting" to have sex on their front lawn on a busy street during rush hour. Apparently, OKC PD takes a dim view of those sorts of shenanigans (who knew?). Enjoy.
Had a great weekend here at the compound. Cousin Fred from western Arkansas visited. He was promoting his latest “business” venture…this is a monthly event where I receive a phone call or a visit from Fred with some new idea. This month Cousin Fred is looking for investors for a worm ranch. Yep, worms as in bait. I asked him to leave a prospectus on the table and I’d get back to him. Actually, worm ranching is a better idea than last month’s visit in which he wanted me to help him sell a shipload of women’s lace panties out of the back of my SUV. Probably should have set up at the Woodward Expo last month with the guy selling miniskirts from Indonesia. Over the weekend, I came across an article on the NewsOK.com web site with the title, “Oklahoma City Couple Arrested in Front-yard Sex Romp”. How’s that for baiting a reader to click a link? I resisted…for all of about two seconds. I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed after reading the altogether too brief article, but then that’s what journalistic baiting is all about. Picture if you will an early evening scene in Northwest Oklahoma City. It’s Tuesday, it’s 6:30p.m. You’re sitting down to a dinner of Italian-style meatloaf with green beans and salad. Your fork slices easily through the meatloaf. You spear it and ponder exactly what it is that makes this meatloaf Italian-style when you glance out the window to your left. There…across the street…that oddball couple who moved in a couple of months ago. They’re on the front lawn humping one another like your now-dead Chihuahua, Pickles, used to do to your crazy Uncle Clyde’s leg whenever he visited from Slapout. The next thing you know, OKC PD is pulling up in front of the house with lights flashing, Tasers drawn, and handcuffs glinting in the setting sun. You take your plate of food out to the front porch so as not to miss any of the action…hey, this sort of thing may happen all the time in Tulsa, but in OKC, it’s quality entertainment. According to the article on OKNews.com, our alleged sex rompers were arrested for being drunk and indecent in public. The call that came into police said there were two people having sex in the front yard of their house near the intersection of NW16th and N May Avenue. The police report indicated that the couple, Kenneth Dale Watson II (I’ll bet Kenneth Dale Watson I is proud of his boy) and Petra Dawn Stephens were clothed, but that Watson was on top of Stephens and “they were grinding their hips together.” Huh…seems to me that if you’re going to do the nasty in view of the public (by the way that intersection is fairly busy with traffic) you should at least go “full Monty” and really give the public a show. Both had red, watery eyes and slurred speech that made it difficult for the police to understand what they were saying. It should be noted here that the alleged intersection where this alleged incident took place is very near the May Avenue Liquor Store. Ah ha! Now we know the source of their drunken wanton lust. Probably loading up on the Mezcal and seeing who could empty the bottle first to get the worm (trust me…been there, done that)! Drink enough Mezcal and anyone would forget to take their clothes off before bumping uglies on the front yard. On the way to jail, the couple argued and then apologized to one another for getting drunk and getting the other arrested. That was it. No insights as to what prompted the spontaneous humpage on the front lawn. Or, why they kept their clothes on (the ultimate in safe sex, I reckon). No hints as to the brand of Mezcal they were consuming. Frankly, the article left me feeling like a teenage boy humping his parents’ ottoman…titillating, but not altogether satisfying. But, I digress… So let’s review what we’ve learned and how we can improve from this experience:
Comments are closed.
|
Archives
March 2019
Categories |
RSS Feed