Happy Tuesday, everyone! I was in Amarillo (whose city motto taken from the Latin is, “Gateway to Lubbock”) over the weekend for the Western Swing Music Society of the Southwest’s (WSMSS) version of Woodstock without the naked mud-covered hippies, overflowing Port-o-Johns, or burning hamburger stands.
If you were looking for that sort of entertainment you had only to go next door to the Holiday Inn Express where hotel management had drained the indoor pool and turned it into a mud-filled mosh pond for the annual Summer of Shove Fest. Music was provided by our own local favorite, Wiley Piemore and the Prairie Dawgs who were dishing out their best effort at neo-punk. Given the advanced age of the mosh participants, the festival certainly had the most apropos sponsor, the Clyde Gilmore Orthopedic Surgical Clinic (ten locations in Texas). Co-sponsor was Great Plains Waterbed Outlet (one location in Amarillo). I spent most of my time over at the WSMSS hotel, a decidedly staid bunch. And while we’re on the subject of advanced age and beer (I know, I know…I need to work on my segues), during my recent trip to the East Coast to retrieve my motorcycle and file a theft report on my grills, my traveling companion (aka, the Dad) and I visited one of those craft beer pubs that are springing up everywhere. Having lived in the Pacific Northwest for several years where beer nerds outnumber teetotalers by a 9:1 margin, I consider myself something of a snob when it comes to craft brews. In fact, there was a time when I considered partnering with a friend of mine who was home brewing a fine ale. We were going to call it Pukin’ Dog Ale. Figured it would be popular with the college crowd. If that caught on, we even imagined a light beer called Dry Heavin’ Puppy. But, I digress… By the way, if you want to have a little fun (and possibly start a brawl) when visiting one of these places, be sure to tell your waiter/waitress that you want Falstaff in a rusted steel can. When the manager threatens bodily harm, simply say, “This is a beer pub, isn’t it?” Sorry, a little beer humor there for you…very little. The food at the place we had chosen was actually very good. The beer, not so much. First of all, there were probably two dozen beers on tap in the place. I told the waitress to indulge herself as long as whatever she brought was a lager. She looked confused and handed me an iPad-like device that made comparisons for what you want with what they want you to have. I entered the word “lager” and the iPad app told me I would simply “love” their Boothill Sexual Chocolate Ale. Hmmmmm…I figured the app wouldn’t lie, so we ordered two Boothills. It was, in a word, barfilicious. Next we tried a variety of Belgian wheat beer I’d never heard of, but being fond of Belgian wheat beer I figured I couldn’t wrong, right? When will I learn? It just seems to me that with all the modern “improvements” that craft brewers are making to a refreshing adult beverage that has helped ugly people have sex since at least the fifth millennium BC, we’re going backwards. Or, maybe that’s just me. Maybe there really are people who like chocolate beer, raspberry beer, or Kona coffee flavored beer. Probably the same people who can’t live without an $8.90 cup of flavored coffee every morning. Just sayin’… And, as long as I’m on a rant about beer, I have to say I was (dare I say) hopeful after reading last week that a move to modernize Oklahoma’s antiquated and laughable alcohol laws make actually be gaining some traction. Apparently, the trade group that represents Oklahoma liquor stores agreed to go with the flow (pun intended, nyuk nyuk) regarding changes to proposed legislation that allow among other things, single-strength, refrigerated beer in ALL retail settings. Oops, now I’ve done it. I used the “L” word. There’s the biggest stumbling block to my pickling my liver if I so choose (I’m going for a nice crisp Kosher variety). The friggin’ Oklahoma legislature, aka the morons who “work” at North Lincoln Blvd. See, the way this works is that the morons in Oklahoma City have to agree to let it go on a ballot in November 2016. That requires ACTION (look it up, legislators) on their part during their 2016 legislative session (which only lasts six months though they get paid for twelve). If last year’s session was any indication…with such important legislation passed like making switchblades legal in Oklahoma…we’re screwed. So, let’s cross our fingers and hope that there are enough booze hounds in the state legislature (they like to pretend they aren’t) to at least get it to a vote by the people. Of course, getting it passed in a general election will be another hurdle, but baby steps first. I smell reform…and it smells like an icy cold 12-point Belgian wheat that I can sip as I gaze out across the plains surrounding the compound. Eternally hopeful and optimistic, I am (not to mention a sucker). Comments are closed.
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