Orange skin abounds...who cares? Guess you do if you're the one with orange skin. Another rumble in a Waffle House...bring back the grits!

It’s Monday everybody! Hope you had a great weekend with the Super Bowl outcome you wanted, well, if the SB outcome you wanted was for New England to win (again…blech) or L.A. to lose. Either way, I suppose you’re a winner…maybe…hmm.

So, the big story in my newsfeed over the weekend was increased speculation as to how Fearless Leader maintains that orangish glow he has year ‘round.

Seriously? That’s the best the newsfeed people can come up with? The economy seems to be firing on all cylinders (for now), we may be teetering on the edge of another arms race with the Russians, another Federal shutdown is in the offing, oh, and, the sitting governor of Virginia appears to be losing his mind. That’s the best the media can up with to obsess over?

Okay, we’ll roll with it.

So, the initial reports of Fearless Leader’s Orange Hostess Cupcake look say that it’s due to his having “good genes.” <cough>

Good genes? Really? Shame he didn’t inherit good hair genes so he wouldn’t have to rely on the dead cat on his head.

The thing is, he always seems to have raccoon eyes like someone who spends too much time outside snow skiing. If you aren’t a skier, that is generally a sign of someone who is either: 1) using a tanning bed or lamp; or, 2) stepping inside an Earl Schieb paint booth (dear Millennials, he was a guy who ran commercials back in the 1970-1990s claiming he could paint any car for $99 – you’re welcome).

But, “sources” inside the White House claim there is no such apparatus in the WH. One other insider claims that Fearless Leader powders his face with some sort of translucent powder that gives him that trademark glow. But orange?

A crack team of dermatologists claim that it looks to them like the work of someone who uses self-tanning products (think George Hamilton, but orange).

I seem to recall that around election time in 2016, a friend of Ivanka made a comment to a reporter that according to the daughter, her father applied a self-tanning product, but grew too impatient waiting the prescribed amount of time before showering. Hence, the orange glow.  

But, in the big scheme of things who cares really? If the president wants to appear as an Orange Hostess Cupcake, so be it, I say. After all, this is America where you can appear in public anyway you want. And, if that “want” is with an orange face and dead cat on your head, so be it!

Besides, there are bigger things to puzzle over…like, what the hell is going on with the Waffle House restaurants?

Now you long-time readers of this nonsense will recall that we at CCB have often (altogether too often really) reported on incidents taking place in Waffle House restaurants. There have been naked women throwing food and plates around the place, female employees dipping their long hair into boiling pots of water on the stove (apparently to straighten said hair?), naked men running around the outside of the store and pressing themselves up against the glass to the dismay and amusement of the dining public inside, and even my own experiences at the Waffle House in OKC…to name a few.

Why would we do that, you ask? Because someone in the media feels compelled to thrash Waffle House at every turn…and we WERE fond of Waffle House food, particularly the grits that they’ve removed from the menu for some reason!

So, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that there was a rumble at a Waffle House in South Carolina (pictured above during a ceasefire) several days ago. Video of the fight has made it online (doesn’t it always). The vid shows two employees initially grappling and punching one another. There are obscenities being shouted, waffles being launched, windows being broken…you know, a typical Friday morning shift change at Waffle House.

In the end, one of the employees picked up two long (and presumably sharp) knives and suggested the other employee come outside. The prompted the other employee to hint that he had a gun and would go fetch it. 

Through the melee, customers can be seen in the video calmly eating their food and (probably) praying the blood doesn’t begin to fly. See? Just another Waffle House morning shift change.

Ain’t no big thing! Stay the hell out of Waffle House! But, if you go, go heavily armed, just in case.
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That is all!