![]() Good morning everyone! Welcome to Tuesday! Who knew we’d get this far this fast? Am I right? No, I have no idea what I mean by that, but I’m standing by my statement and no amount of subpoenage by special prosecutors will get me to change it. It’s a witch hunt dammit! Friends, I have to tell you…filmmaking is difficult. No seriously. It’s given me an entirely new perspective on things after finishing rough cuts on two films and an additional YouTube video. For instance, there’s the whole looking into the camera vs. not looking into the camera, depending on the context of what you’re attempting to film. Even if you make it through the shoot, there’s still the dreaded editing to do. It took me eight hours yesterday to finish the bulk of editing on what will be a roughly 15-minute YouTube vid. I’ll finish that one up this morning and get it uploaded later today…hopefully. I say hopefully because last night I discovered I really need to work the sound and color a bit more. It never ends. I should have kept writing books. It’s a hell of a lot easier. And, as long as I’m on a filmmaking rant here, let me address the f**ckers who design and sell video editing software. Judas priest. Can you possibly make what should be a basic, linear process any more complicated? Yes, you can software f**ckers, yes you can! The software randomly doesn’t work the way it should every time and for no apparent reason. I finally turned to the internet to find other frustrated John Ford wannabes who have figured out the cheats to beat the software design flaws. At one point yesterday, I had a hoody pulled up on my head as I crouched atop my desk throwing paper and an assortment of mail-order catalogs all around the room while screaming, “The monkeys, oh my God, the monkeys!” Okay, it’s decaf for me from now on. I’m getting too old for this crap. Speaking of getting too old…as you long-time devoted readers of this blog (all four of you, thank you for your patronage) may recall, exactly three weeks ago we told you the tale of the Dutch dude in the Netherlands who was trying to get his age changed (legally – you’ll see what that gets you) from 69 to 49. He was having problems landing dates on Tinder when his age appeared in his profile. Hmm…you know, Dutch dude, you could simply have lied about your age when you set up your Tinder account. Everyone else probably does. But no, Not mister ethical Dutch dude. When he discovered no one would bite on a 69er (fill in your own dirty joke here) he tried to get his age changed in the courts. He was quoted as saying, “I feel much younger than my age, I am a young god, I can have all the girls I want but not after I tell them that I am 69,” Dutch dude said. “I feel young, I am in great shape and I want this to be legally recognized because I feel abused, aggrieved and discriminated against because of my age.” Well, this morning we’ve learned that he failed to get ‘er done. The courts rejected his case on Monday. Admittedly, we here at CCB didn’t see what the fuss was all about. Seriously, it didn’t sound like that big a deal, but then the ruling the court in rejecting his plea revealed a fact previously unknown. Namely, that Dutch dude was actually trying to have his birth certificate altered to reflect his new age. Oh…now we get it! You can’t do that dumbass! The judge handing down his ruling said Dutch dude, “…is at liberty to feel 20 years younger than his real age and to act accordingly, actually changing the birth certificate is not possible. “Amending his date of birth would cause 20 years of records to vanish from the register of births, deaths, marriages and registered partnerships. This would have a variety of undesirable legal and societal implications.” Very profound Dutch judge, very profound indeed. Whatever… I’m back to video editing…o’ the monkeys! That is all! Comments are closed.
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