Now Appearing at a Casino Near You!

I was outdoors this morning dog-paddling around in a puddle of water left from yesterday’s deluge.  I love this area and love it even more when it rains, but I digress.  After doing a few laps in my Olympic size puddle, I spent a little time lazily floating across the surface on an inner-tube sipping coffee while perusing the latest edition of Woodward News (whose motto, translated from Latin is “Thus Unto Typesetting”) when I came across an article on page 3 about “…legendary western actor and artist Buck Taylor…” making a visit to Woodward later this month.

Anyone over the age of…oh, I don’t dunno…let’s say 40, probably best remembers Buck Taylor as the character Newly in the “Gunsmoke” TV series.  He also, of course, played the role of ‘Turkey Creek’ Jack Johnson in the movie, “Tombstone” (personal favorite) and many more.  Besides his acting career, he’s apparently made a name for himself as a western artist.  That I did not know.  See what you can learn from the Woodward News?

The reason for the visit is his new role as celebrity spokesperson for the new Boot Hill Casino opening in Dodge City.  Good for him.  Great for the casino…that’s pretty smart using one of the Gunsmoke regulars to represent your casino.

So then I thought about it some more…easy to think clearly as a cold, gentle breeze propelled me across the puddle…and what came to me is that I should offer up myself as a representative to new casinos, dog grooming parlor openings, insurance agency happenings, mega-meat sales bonanzas, anything where a local used-to-be-sort-of celebrity could draw a crowd.  Heck, I’ll do it for free!

What’s that?  You’re asking yourself, what the hell did he ever do?  Hrrrrmph!  You’re obviously under the age of…oh, I dunno…let’s say 53 if you don’t recall my alter ego, Captain Time.  For those of you Googling the name, fuhgeddaboudit.  I was so original I was pre-Google.  Captain Time was the front man for what I envisioned as a glam-punk band called “Captain Time and the Lost Army of Guitars”.  Never heard of us?  Good reason for that…we sucked.

As Captain Time, I would dress in a pair of tights with a red swimsuit and red socks, a black t-shirt emblazoned with “Boogie Down With CT”, a long dark blue cape (for some reason I couldn’t find black fabric in Woodward, OK at the time), mirrored sunglasses, and one of those stars & stripes motorcycle helmets made famous in the movie “Easy Rider”.  One note on the get-up…I didn’t have contact lenses then and the mirrored sunglasses were not prescription.  I was/am blind as a bat and generally staggered around like a drunken sailor during appearances. 

The important thing to remember was that I was cool, but I digress…

Captain Time made several appearances throughout my junior and senior years in high school.  In fact, one such appearance at a school assembly turned ugly when the people in charge couldn’t find an American flag in the auditorium to use for the Pledge of Allegiance.  My future brother-in-law yelled out from the audience, “Use Captain Time’s head!”  Thanks, Dave.

So, if you have an event to promote, please give me a call.  I’d be honored to show up and promote.  If you ask nicely, I’ll even bring a guitar and amp and break into my very special rendition of “Celebrity Skin” by Hole.  Now that's quality entertainment!

Don’t hate me because I’m cool…and, rock on!