Ahhhh…another Wednesday, another hump day…smell the anguish! Okay, it’s not that bad. Actually, it isn’t bad at all. Cousin Fred and I (and Lassie) moved from Limon, Colorado yesterday to Keystone, deep in the heart of the Rockies.
Where I wanted us to focus our raw video reality show pilot is the little burg of Montezuma, Colorado, but the town of 42 people doesn’t have a hotel or any other facilities for that matter. Known as the meanest town in America, Montezuma’s claim to fame is town officials suing all of the registered voters in town as a group and dragging them before a judge over some disputed election. They don’t like outsiders there either. They tow and ticket vehicles parked along the roadway. These are outside visitors parking there to take advantage of the hiking trails in and around Montezuma. Like I said, America’s meanest town. Bet they have a contest in the summer where the town’s kids gather to pull the wings off flies or something. Ah, but what Montezuma has going for it is its notoriety as a hotbed of activity in terms of Bigfoot sightings. So, we decided to base our activity out of Keystone, a mere seven miles to the west. It’s still off-season so we’re staying at the Keystone Inn for less than $100 per night! This is a very nice place and they allow pets. Of course, Lassie had to bark and rollover before the manager would buy into her being a weird breed of dog with horns and let her stay. We were able to get up here early enough yesterday to make a quick run to Montezuma in the afternoon. I was able to shoot some background scenes around town and up on a few of the trails. So I have some decent b-roll footage to use when we start editing the pilot. I got a decent sleep last night, though I did wake up at 1AM and saw that Cousin Fred and Lassie weren’t in the room. I thought maybe he had taken her outside for a potty break (though he’s been working to get the danged goat to use a toilet). But, then I saw a note on the table in the room that said he and Lassie were up on the roof. I went up there to find Cousin Fred and Lassie the Goat in a huge hot tub on the roof of the hotel. There were three other twenty-something post-college females in the hot tub with them. All (except the goat who was looking kind of stressed) seemed to be enjoying themselves wiggling and giggling and taking hits off a bottle of Mezcal. I turned around and went back to bed. Now, here I sit. Cousin Fred and Lassie are snoring their fool heads off and both reek of chlorine. It has occurred to me that we don’t have any “talent” for our pilot yet. Who knows, maybe Cousin Fred was able to talk those women in the hot tub into appearing in our pilot. At any rate, that will definitely be the crisis to solve this morning. The Wife seems altogether thrilled that we won’t make it back to the compound for Thanksgiving. Told me she’s headed to the casino in Clinton, where, and I’m quoting her here, she can chain smoke, binge drink, recklessly gamble, and then sit in the nightclub and holler out requests of the lounge act to sing “My Philadelphia Home.” I was catching up on Oklahoma news this morning reading through the NewOK.com web site when I came across something I did not expect to see. Oklahoma’s own Joe Exotic (aka, Joseph Maldonado) announced his independent candidacy for president of the United States! And, he made the announcement from friggin’ Ohio?! I would have thought Joe Exotic would almost certainly have made the announcement while hugging one of the tigers in his “zoo.” But hey, what the hell do I know about anything. He posted a video of the “press conference” from Ohio on his YouTube channel – Joe Exotic TV Live. The announcement was kind of a long rambling speech that made him sound a bit like The Trump on acid. What really makes the video fun to watch (particularly if you’re really drunk) is that whoever was holding the camera was apparently really drunk. Seriously, the shot is played with a steady overlay on the edges of the screen, but Joe Exotic - dressed in a black leather ballcap, a black leather jacket, and a black shirt (couldn’t tell, but I’ll bet it’s black leather too) – is jiggling and constantly moving. Dear Joe Exotic – next time, don’t hire the drunk at the end of the bar to be your cameraman. Or, get him to use a tripod. Anyway, he goes on a rant about John Kasich, governor of Ohio (guess that’s why he was there), which is kind of odd because Kasich comes off as a pretty reasonable guy…particularly when compared with some of the other loons the GOP is fronting this go-around. The most amazing part of the video is the end where it sounds as though there is a room full of people clapping. Guess he lured everyone away from the hotel bar with the promise of free drinks after the press conference. Here’s the video of his press conference (be sure to take your seasickness pills before you watch it). Oh, and here’s another clip from his YouTube channel, just in case you want more of Joe Exotic TV Live! So, we’ll be keeping an eye on Joe Exotic’s campaign for you…at least until the next Oklahoma legislative session get started. I can hardly wait! Comments are closed.
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