Missouri is a strange place...examine your own anus...finally, a newspaper with a sense of humor (albeit sophomoric)!

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It’s Monday and we’re all so happy to be here! Yeah, right.

I’m hard at work on the second step in Cousin Fred’s (aka, Fredriche – Gigi added the “e” at the end, makes it sound almost royal(e) according to her) self-help tome “How to Stop Living and Start Worrying.”

Basically, it’s not spending any time with self-analysis or strategizing your way through life’s problems. It’s all about plunging ahead into a deep cesspool of angst and worry. Lots of worry. Worry that will have you smoking several packs of cigarettes throughout the night. Worry that will keep you awake for days until you finally lose it and go buy ammo for your old Red Ryder BB gun with the compass in the stock. And finally, worry that will make you think that Fredriche is a friggin’ genius and you buy all his other crap (i.e. self-help books) from Amazon.

I’m having to hurry through step two because the Hairdressing Hydrologist Gigi wants a completed draft by close of business (whatever that is – after all we’re on Compound time around here) tomorrow.

I still have Step Three to maneuver through. There goes the rest of my day.

You know, friends, as you dedicated readers of this blog (all 12 of you by last count) know, we here at CCB are occasionally accused of sophomoric humor. In fact, the Wife is constantly berating me for the use of cheap, sophomoric humor to gain more followers.
To this I say, “Thhhpppptt! I’m catering to a certain class of blog reader here! Present company excepted, of course.”

Besides, she’s still in Tahiti on yet another of her fabulous vacations, so what does she know? I bet they don’t even have internet in Tahiti.

So again, “Thhhpppptt!”

Real life can certainly be sophomoric at times. Take for instance the little town situated in between Springfield and St. Louis, Missouri along I-44. The town has the name Uranus…yeah, like the planet, except they pronounce the name like you would expect, well…a sophomore to gigglingly say it rather the more sophisticated way you would expect an astronomer to pronounce it. The town’s motto is (and we are not making this up), “It’s not a town, it’s a destination!”

Okay, that’s pretty sophomoric even by our standards, but then you learn that the town’s biggest attraction is the world’s biggest fudge factory. Still not sophomoric enough for you?

Wait, there’s more!

So, there’s a newspaper starting up in town called…get ready for the uber sophomoric punch line…the Uranus Examiner. The publisher announced she was starting the paper at a county meeting last week. This coming on the heels of a longtime (allegedly legitimate) news publication shuttering its doors earlier in the week. People from the surrounding communities are outraged. They believe the newspaper’s name will make a mockery of their county. The people of Uranus (pop. 25) think it’s hilarious and will attract more attention (and hopefully visitors) to their town located on the backside of Missouri.

The outrage is going so far that people who are required to publish public notices in the paper are refusing to do so unless the Uranus Examiner changes its name.

That’s not likely to happen. There’s fudge to sell dammit!

Okay, I could make more jokes about an asinine name, but I’ll let it go…turn the other cheek, so to speak. Nyuk nyuk!
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That is all!

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