 Friends…oh, yeah, Happy Tuesday, whatever…friends, those of you who have been reading this nonsense for awhile (all three or four of you) know that I have been plagued in the past by a bunch of pesky Israelis who steal content from the site and repost it elsewhere in the world. For whatever reason, it always bothered me, but I never did anything about it except publicly ask that they at least credit the source. Well, now there’s someone in Lahore Pakistan who asked permission to use some of my content to add to his blog. He says he will give me credit and post a link to CCB for others to follow. Interestingly, he sent me his request on a day when I reposted an old post about Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin (lame duck governor in Oklahoma) and one of her state of the state speeches. I thought it was curious that someone in Pakistan could care at all about HRH, but then something occurred to me. Maybe Mary Fallin is headed to Pakistan after she’s done being governor (they’re welcome to her). Why not? She could probably get a high paying job catering (read as, selling her soul) to their oil industry giants…oh wait, there’s no oil in Pakistan. Oh, oh…maybe they’ll make her their tourism czar because everyone wants to vacation in Pakistan! Oh sure, I nearly died there in 1988 and plan never to return, but, hey, that’s just me. I mean she did such a bang-up job with Oklahoma Tourism, what with making us all buy new license plates that look suspiciously like the Twitter logo (after all, she is the darling of Fearless Leader) so that we could advertise the Oklahoma Tourism Bureau as we drive around on hazardous pothole-filled roads. Eh, I guess I shouldn’t pick on her or bad mouth her in front of her potential new employers…Pakistan, you’ll love her as only we the people of Oklahoma have loved her (after all, we reelected her by some weird abhorrent fluke)! And, now, we have (at least) four years of Kevin “Bull” Stitt (America’s shadiest mortgage lender and Oklahoma governor elect) to hang our hats on! Yea, Oklahoma! You did it again. But I digress… So, Mr. or Ms. Lahore Pakistan, borrow away, just be sure I get credit! Make me famous. Okay, now on to another, more important matter before us. Friends, have you ever thought to yourself, “…if only I knew then what I know now…” or “…oh, if only I were 20 years younger…”? Of course, you have. We’ve all done that at one point or another. Usually when we’re alone and thinking about our mortality. Well, it turns out there’s a dude in the Netherlands who is suing the government to declare his 69-year-old butt a 49-year-old butt. Why would he want to do that, you ask? Good question, fair reader, good question. Apparently, his being 69 is interfering with his ability to find a hot date on Tinder when his potential responders see his age is 69. Hmmmm. He points out in his lawsuit that people can change their name and even change their gender, so why not be able to change your age? Good point, Dutch Dude, good point! He was quoted in the media as saying (and I swear I’m not making this up), “I feel much younger than my age, I am a young god, I can have all the girls I want but not after I tell them that I am 69.” Well, that pretty well sums things up, me thinks. A preliminary peek at the lawsuit by the courts has raised some interesting legal questions like how do you (essentially) erase 20 years of someone’s life? Didn’t Arnold Schwarzenegger do a movie that followed that stupid script line? We should ask his advice on this matter! Fascinating stuff really. I contacted a friend of mine who is an associate district judge here in Oklahoma to get his opinion, but he still refuses to take my calls. Late yesterday a no-contact order was delivered by an Oklahoma State Trooper who made it abundantly clear that I should stay out of the good judge’s county for at least the remainder of his decade. Harrumph. Try to seek a legitimate legal opinion and you see what it gets me. Anyway, I found Dutch Dude’s story inspiring. Henceforth, I am declaring myself 39 forever. Oh sure, none of my “official” paperwork will match, but screw ‘em. “I’m 39 I tell you…I had a hard life…I earned these wrinkles and grey hairs! I’ll be back!” That is all! Comments are closed.
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