 Hey…another stinkin’ Monday morning! Rejoice! Rejoice! Finally we had a relaxing weekend here at The Compound following the Fourth of July Holiday Extravaganza that took too much time and far too many lives last weekend.
Of course, Cousin Fred and the Brother-in-Law are now engaged in a legal dispute over whether Cousin Fred can actually sell the three bass boats that he mined from the former muddy depths of Lake Mountebank and then cleaned up for use during the Holiday Extravaganza. Cousin Fred has already put the boats out near the road chained together and with tires removed from the trailers, along with a sign on each that reads, “No keys, no title, make an offer…have tires.” Cousin Fred is basing his claim to the boats on an abandoned property law, which in Arkansas is a period of one year. HA! One year, I’ve heard that in Arkansas, if you leave property on the side of the road for 10 minutes it’s considered unclaimed and will be stripped before you can return from the Kum & Go down the road where you had to walk in order to use the pay phone to call AAA because you don’t have a working cell phone because you bought into that ad on TV for the AARP phone for $10/month (how’s that for a run-on sentence). Just sayin’. Well, at least AAA can probably drag the remains of your vehicle onto the back of the flat-bed tow truck for the insurance company to pick over. But, I digress…So, on Thursday Cousin Fred was served with a cease and desist and surrender order signed by a judge in Grant Co. It seems that Oklahoma’s abandoned property law has a five year period attached to it. Who knew? Fortunately for Cousin Fred, there is a veritable plethora of hungry attorneys in Cosmic City who are only too happy to take on something like this. After hearing his case at the initial interview on Friday morning, Lawyer X (he insists we call him that in the blog), told Cousin Fred that he is confident that not only will he prevail in court, but that the State of Oklahoma will ultimately have to drill the spring that will feed the new Lake Mountebank. I pointed out to Cousin Fred that the original reason he had for selling the boats in the first place was to raise money to drill the well for filling the lake. I suggested that perhaps he should just give the boats back to the Brother-in-Law with tires for the trailers to keep some peace in the family. Lawyer X immediately spoke up, saying that if we did that, he would sue us for depriving an Oklahoma attorney of the ability to make a living. It turns out that Lawyer X is also representing the Brother-in-Law in this same case. I suggested that might be conflict of interest, or at any rate, is almost certainly unethical. Lawyer X leaned his chair back, chuckled and said, “Well, it’s all puurrfectly legal, this is after all, Oklahoma.” He then held out his hand and asked for a $5,000 retainer. When we left Lawyer X’s office, I told Cousin Fred that I want nothing to do with any of this. He’s on his own. Lawyer X hooked Cousin Fred with his statement that he’ll get the State of Oklahoma to build the new Lake Mountebank for free. Uh huh. At the rate, the State works, it’ll be years before anything is done. Hey, I’ve bigger fish to fry. We missed so much in the blog last week while trying to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth regarding the Fourth of July Holiday Extravaganza. For instance, the FBI announced they would not seek an indictment of the Queen of the Unindicted. That had all the conservative pundits in a bowelly uproar. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, EVERYONE, from the lowest ranking person in the U.S. military to the Secretary of State, and even the President signs the same non-disclosure agreement before being given access to classified material. You agree to safeguard and protect that information, the disclosure of which could have a devastating effect on the security of United States. As I understand it, the FBI is basing their decision on the fact that there was no intention to not safeguard that material. Really? I can assure you that if Private Jones had “unintentionally” mishandled classified material entrusted to him, he would have been prosecuted and sent in exile to the men’s room in the Moscow airport. I’ll also say that I don’t buy that she just didn’t understand the rules. She was hanging around the White House for 8 years in the 90’s. She didn’t pick up any hints about how classified material was handled? Bullsh*t. If you’re going to make the rules, you should apply them equally across the board. Over the weekend, KFOR (not that I would know since DISH is holding KFOR hostage and depriving those of us at The Compound of weather hottie Emily Sutton) was running a story about the list of possible VP picks for The Trump starting to narrow. Heavy money now is on Newt Gingrich – remember him? – who has been making appearances on TV positively giddy over the prospect. And, let’s see, there’s the current Gov. of Indiana who is a hot prospect, though he plays that down. There’s a retired Air Force general – trust me when I tell you that will not likely happen. Former military make bad VP candidates and heads of CIA. Let it go. Of course, there’s still The Trump’s big lap dog, Chris Christie who keeps hanging in there hoping someone will pick him. He stays out on the road with The Trump a lot. So, who the hell is running New Jersey? Eh, who cares? Our own, Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin never falls completely out of the conversation. Please pick her, Mr. The Trump…do us a favor! Forgive me if I’m way out of line here, but didn’t Gingrich do something stupid toward the end of his tenure as a Georgia congressman? Wasn’t there some scandal or another attached to him? I’ll have to poke around in that. Ultimately, he may be The Trump’s best pick. He has six degrees from Ronald Reagan, who Rabid Republicans hold up as deity. Chris Christie appeals to the more moderate bunch of the GOP, but he gives the hardcore conservatives gas. General Flynn…forget about it. Trust me. Former military make bad politicians and even worse cabinet members. The Governor of Indiana? Who is that? Have you been to Indiana lately? The place is a mess! That leaves HRH Mary of Fallin, the darling of the conservatives. Please pick her…please! The VP job means that she will get a huuuuge bump in salary to help pay for the Botox. And while we’re on the subject of VP picks, the only name I’ve been hearing with any constancy for The Queen of the Unindicted is Elizabeth Warren. Much has been made of her Oklahoma roots, but if you dig into that, it was more like her parents stopped a couple of times at the Cherokee Trading Post on their way to/from California to/from Connecticut. Other names on her list include Tim Kaine, former Gov. of Virginia and current U.S. Senator. The Dems feel he would be a good pick because of VA being a swing state. Uh huh. A good pick for the GOP maybe. He wasn’t a very good Governor and left some baggage behind, as I recall. Martin O’Malley keeps turning up on The Queen of the Unindicted’s short list. This is a smart, smart guy. He was Gov of Maryland and did time as the Mayor of Baltimore…and did great jobs both times. And Maryland is a very conservative state! Just not sure, he wants the job. He has bigger aspirations, me thinks. And then…excuse me while I barf…there is even speculation that Hillary may tag her husband to run with her. Sigh…fortunately, that will never happen. I won’t even discuss the issues that would arise if he did. So that’s it, for now. See you tomorrow when we’ll discuss the rise of the Bigfoot again. Comments are closed.
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