Life of Twattler, the saga continues...

So when we left off yesterday, I was describing the helicopter that dropped off several boxes here at The Compound before then raising back into the air to assist with lifting the derelict bass boats from the earth in what used to be Lake Mountebank.

And, trust me when I tell you that the weirdness is only beginning.

So, the better part of Sunday was spent with the minions from The Pukin’ Dog Lounge cleaning the remaining mud and dirt from the hulls of the bass boats. Each was winched back onto its respective trailer.

At some point in the late afternoon, I asked Cousin Fred what he intended to do with the things. He informed me he would put them out on the road, each with a sign on that reads, “No key, no title…make an offer.”

Cousin Fred figured we could raise some funds to put toward the drilling of the well that would fill Lake Mountebank. A sensible scheme, I suppose, though the Brother-in-Law might have something to say about it.

Upon hearing this, the Wife started cackling again. I looked up on the roof to see that she had added what appeared to be a wicker airline service cart with a large metal bin on top filled with ice and dozens of high-point alcoholic wine coolers smuggled across the border from Kansas (it’s cheaper there, you know).

When she saw Cousin Fred and I looking at her, the Wife pulled the wad of Mail Pouch tobaccy from inside her mouth and threw it at us. The cackling continued.

Into Sunday evening, Cousin Fred and Gigi fed their minions. At some point after the meal, the minions began dancing around a largish bonfire that Cousin Fred started using some old mesquite wood that had been lying in the far north pasture. Someone was blasting Rolling Stones tunes from the ‘70’s as they danced. Around 9PM, just as the sun was setting I thought I heard shots being fired.

The Wife cackled even harder from atop the roof.

I went to bed.

Monday morning, Fourth of July, I tentatively peeked out the front blinds, half expecting to see dead bodies strewn across the yard. I was thinking about how I was going to get a sheriff’s unit out there…they’ve never been able to find The Compound.

But…everything seemed peaceful enough. People were up and moving around. Gigi was preparing breakfast. People were eating (a sure sign of life). I did note that Gigi’s Lexus was missing, as was Cousin Fred.

Cousin Fred reappeared around 10 that morning. He came wheeling back into The Compound in the Lexus. A group of minions ran over and began unloading boxes from the trunk and backseat.

I stepped out onto the porch to get a better view. Cousin Fred saw me and through his bullhorn informed me (and the rest of the county) that they were unloading supplies for the Fourth of July Holiday Extravaganza.

Around two that afternoon, a van pulled up near the house. The sides of the van were covered with colorful graphics announcing the arrival of KOKH Fox 25 in Oklahoma City. An overly tanned guy with freshly painted teeth dressed in a suit and tie got out to shake my hand, saying that he knew I must recognize him. I didn’t. He then introduced himself as Chip Twattler. He informed me that they were there to film for a segment they’re calling “Deranged Oklahoma.”

The cameraman and sound guy were already out of the van and filming the Wife up on the roof. The sound guy was trying to get the levels right and kept telling the Wife to cackle more. That triggered the Wife to launch another wad of tobaccy that made a direct hit on the camera lens.

I turned to Chip Twattler and asked, “Deranged Oklahoma, eh? So what brings you here?” I then suggested we go inside.

As the day wore on, the Fox 25 camera crew kept shooting activity down near Hellkat One’s Trailer. When they returned to the house to join Chip Twattler and I (they ran an evasive zig zag pattern to avoid tobaccy wad fire from above), the cameraman asked me if that was actually “THE” trailer. I assured him it was. I saw Chip Twattler smile.

Finally, in the early evening, long before dark, we heard a voice booming over the bullhorn, “You, in the house, come out into the yard. The Fourth of July Holiday Extravaganza is about start.”

As we stepped out onto the lawn, I saw a guy dressed in a black head-to-toe ninja outfit holding the bullhorn. He announced that he would be the narrator for the evening’s events.

I looked around and saw that all of the minions from The Pukin’ Dog Lounge were dressed as ninjas.

The camera guy from Fox 25 began filming.

Editor’s note: While we believed we would wrap this up today, it’s obviously become a saga. We’ll continue it tomorrow and promise to bring it to a close. It’s gonna be great…you’ll see.

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