Happy Monday everybody! Hope you are well and survived a decidedly hot and humid weekend in one piece. On Friday, we heard that Cousin Fred was planning to visit from western Arkansas (he called inbound from Bouse Junction to let us know). Upon hearing the news, the wife packed a bag and hastily cooked some rather foul smelling dish. She then promptly took off for an old hippie commune in southeastern Colorado for yet another campfire bean curd pot-luck.
It made for a more peaceful weekend for me with her gone. She and Cousin Fred do nothing but fight when he’s here. Been that way since the Woodward Elks Rodeo debacle, which we no longer discuss. Well, I say they “fight”…Cousin Fred terms it a “spirited debate.” Whatever…I’m hard at work on the screenplay I’m writing on spec to enter in the Twister Alley Film Festival next spring and was looking forward to making some real progress this weekend. My best intentions at progress failed to include the Cousin Fred Factor. Cousin Fred, upon arrival Friday afternoon, seemed antsier than usual. He kept looking over my shoulder at the screenplay as I was working on it. He made a lot of helpful comments, such as: “So…is that line supposed to be funny?” And… “Is this screenplay supposed to be ‘polite haha’ funny or ‘blowing beer out the nose har har har’ funny? Cause, if it’s the latter you need to make some changes. Oh, you left out a danged comma there.” And the ever-endearing… “You know you should let me help you with that. People tell me I’m a funny guy and that I have a flair for words. Is there any beer in the fridge?” Finally, I gave him a pack of targets, a box of 9mm ammo, one of my Glocks and told him to go punch holes in the sand hill behind the compound. Of course it took him all of about 20 minutes to blow through a 100-round box of ammo. I cringed when I saw him practicing quick-draw stunts, figuring I’d be the one to drive him to the hospital after he shot himself in the foot. After he came back into the house, I managed to get rid of him for another half hour by sending him back out to recover the brass. When he returned, I was doing research for today’s blog posting, the subject of which is how Oklahoma Supreme Court justices are chosen. After reading some of the “research” I dug up, Cousin Fred cut right to the heart of the matter with the question, “So it’s really just a beauty pageant?” I was about to counter that, but then realized he is probably dead on. My interest in how vacancies on the state Supreme Court are filled came about after I read an Op-Ed piece on the NewsOK.com web site. The piece was written by that nutty state representative from Oklahoma City with the Captain Kangaroo haircut, Kevin Calvey. You may remember him from the CCB posting where we mentioned his public statement that he was so angry with recent Oklahoma Supreme Court rulings that he threatened to cross the street to the Supreme Court building (in and of itself a dangerous undertaking what with the traffic on North Lincoln Blvd at rush hour and the potential for chunkage from the capitol dome to come loose and clobber him in the cabeza). Once inside, he planned to douse himself in gasoline and set himself afire. According to his public comments, the only thing holding him back is that he is a Christian…that still doesn’t make any sense, but what do I know? CCB’s response was “douse away dummy.” Legislator Calvey’s “article” (NewsOK’s term for it) was a whole lot of convenient truths, mondo subjectivity, and let’s see…oh, rhetorical questions (all of which fits the definition of an Op-Ed piece, I suppose). So, here’s how vacancies are filled on the Oklahoma Supreme Court in plain and simple language. First, you got this vacancy, see. The Judicial Nominating Commission, which by Calvey’s explanation is loaded up with Oklahoma Bar Association types, scours letters of qualifications from practicing attorneys around the state who express an interest in serving as a justice on the court. After the nominating commission vets (cough, cough) each individual, they forward their best three candidates to the Governor who makes a selection. Once you’re in, you’re in…well, for six years anyway. After that you have to be re-elected, but it seems to me that Oklahoma Supreme Court justice “re-elections” are a little too pro forma (one blogger’s opinion). The average Oklahoma voter is rushing through the ballot because he/she realizes they don’t know squat about any of the referendums or other candidates on the ballot. They promise that next time they’ll be better informed. Finally, they get to the Supreme Court justice question, which probably reads something like “Should Justice Jones serve another six years on the Oklahoma Supreme Court?” At that point, they’re like, “Whatever!” and mark the ballot with a yes. Calvey’s biggest issue with the Oklahoma Supreme Court is that for a very conservative state, the justices tend to lean to the left. His Op-Ed rails against the Oklahoma Bar Association having such a big part in picking the candidates to be presented to the Governor. He believes that the entire nomination process should be taken out of the hands of the Bar and follow something more akin to how it works in the Federal government. Hmmmm…not so sure about that. He provides “statistics” that purport to show most attorneys are left leaning liberals and he blames the candidate list forwarded to the Governor on that left leaning philosophy. Ummmm, yeah maybe, though I’m not so sure. First of all, of the nine Supreme Court justices currently serving, EIGHT were initially appointed by Democratic Governors. Seems to me that if I was Governor of Oklahoma (no, thank you!) and was a Dem…I would try to seat a judge who liked the same things I do (long walks on the beach, fluffy puppies, fabulous sunsets…well, you get the idea). Okay, I get it…it’s probably not that simple, but to my simple lay deranged mind that’s how things look. So maybe what Calvey was really trying to do (woe unto me for getting inside his head) is spark outrage in the Oklahoma electorate to rise up against the evil Oklahoma Bar Association and change the manner in which justices picked based on what the morons in the State Legislature want them to do…or, something like that. That’s not likely to happen…it’s just another one of those, “well, it’s always been done that way” kind of things that is Oklahoma. Me…I have no easy answer. Cousin Fred suggested turning it into a reality show where Supreme Court candidates would compete on live television. He went on to point out that for reality show to pull in an audience nowadays, the realityers (sic) should either be naked or drunk or both. Perhaps that would work for the audience too!
mstoneww
7/27/2015 08:09:46 am
Sounds like the same way a similar judge gets re-elected year after year after year in Grant County... 'whatever!"
Chief Blogger CCB
7/27/2015 08:42:46 am
Hahaha...yeah, really. Had him in mind as I was writing this. Probably explains why he never answers my question about the OAG's "Evidence Fund"...hrrrmph. Comments are closed.
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