It's Thursday, Mr. Robin is swinging at Oklahoma weatherguessers and makes a big reveal about Cousin Fred...how's that for clickbait?

Okay…I’m calm…nothing to worry about. No, really. It’s alright. This won’t hurt a bit. I have full bottles of Jack Daniel’s and cans of sardines and toilet paper. I’ll be fine. Oh, who am I fooling…

WE’RE ALL GOING TO DIE! HANDS MORGAN SAYS THERE IS NO HOPE FOR ANY OF US! IT’S THE SECOND COMING…OF THE ICE AGE! He's telling everyone to drive south...to Argentina.

There now, I feel better.

Seriously though, have you heard the likes of fearmongering that have pervaded the airwaves here over the past few days? And, in true Oklahoma Weatherguesser fashion they’ve already started backtracking on their forecasts somewhat, lessening the predictions of lethality and then making it sound like that’s what they’ve been saying all along. Weren’t we paying attention?

Of course, I’d love to hear what Tornado Payne-in-the-Ass (TP) has to say about it all. I CAN’T THOUGH BECAUSE DISH TV SHUT US OUT OF CHANNEL 9…RAT PUNK BASTARDS. I would imagine TP (as he known to his friends) is casually leaning against the news counter, his sport jacket open at the bottom revealing the bottom of his tie hanging out like he’s showing his business to the world. The leftover Ogle (pick one, any one) whimpers about having to come to work in an ice storm…TP snarls and in his very best urban hillbilly affectation sez, “I reckon it’s time to get right with the Lord.”

Huh? That’s it? TP has access to the most powerful radar in the Universe and that’s the best he can do? He can see INSIDE of the ice storm. He can count the ice cubes falling from the clouds.

We at The Compound aren’t privy to that knowledge because the scurrilous scum-sucking, dog-eating, football-hating (he’s probably a Browns fan) CEO of DISH TV is too busy making infomercials encouraging us to call Channel 9 and tell them to lower their price. That’s HIS PROBLEM. My job is to complain about it.

Okay, deep breath. Who knows what the hell will happen? The weatherguessers are seldom right about anything around here. We have that going for us. The Compound isn’t on city water (of course) so if we lose power there’s no water, but I have several jugs set aside to fill toilets etc. Fortunately, the Wife leaves this morning for another of her fabulous vacations so she’ll be down in the warm sun somewhere not giving a crap that I’m iced in with Cousin Fred and a pack of mutts fighting over the crumbs at the bottom of the last Frito’s bag (made a run to United last night).

And…speaking of Cousin Fred…someone sent me a note the other day pointing out that I cut off the last Cousin Fred saga in midstream and disappeared for weeks. Hey, I’m busy, dammit!

Cousin Fred is alive and well. There are you happy now?

We have some cash rolling in from selling the episodes of “Bigfoot: Naked and Untamed” to the Viceland Channel (airs at 2:23AM every other Wednesday). Cousin Fred has decided it’s time to have his own place here at The Compound…after Hellkat One’s trailer burned to the ground.

The Wife made it clear that when she returns from her fabulous vacation, Cousin Fred had better be out of the main house. I quietly suggested that she should perhaps remain on vacation for an extended period of time…fortunately for me, I don’t think she heard me suggest that.

Somewhere along the way, Cousin Fred found plans for building an old-timey store like the type you see in early photos of Cosmic City. There’s usually a basic frame building, sometimes with two floors and the front has a big square edifice that covers the basic shape of the building.

So he’s all hot to trot on getting that built here on The Compound grounds. His plans call for a two-story structure. He told me last night that he visited the Cosmic City Museum the other day and found a book with lots of photos of early Cosmic City in it. He has decided to replicate the infamous Cabinet Saloon.

The bottom floor will have a fully stocked bar in the front, with a card room in the back. His living quarters will be upstairs.

Wow…I’m thinking…what a great idea…finally. He plans to put up the structure near the site of the former trailer…there’s power there.

Loew’s in Enid is delivering two truckloads of lumber this morning. A couple of my brothers from the Pathetic Order of the Jackrabbit – Original Charter (P.O.J.O.C.), specifically Crisco Carl and Jake the Snake, have agreed to help him with the building. The boys figure we can use the lower portion as a P.O.J.O.C. clubhouse. Of course, that means we’ll have to accept Cousin Fred as a full-fledged member, but what the heck, he has cash now.

We’ll see how far they get before the second Ice Age hits sometime tomorrow. While they’re working hard at building, I’ll be sitting off to the side contemplating new descriptors for DISH’s CEO.

So, if you’re into being out in an ice storm and driving around (you’ll likely have the road to yourself), feel free to stop in at The Compound where there’s always alcohol and usually a pot of Rib Ranch-style beans cooking.

Oh, bring Frito’s.

That is all!

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