 Yeah, I know, these Saturday posts to the Cosmic City Blog are beginning to be a habit. But, I was too busy with The Compound’s latest invaders yesterday to post anything. So I’m dishing it out today! Let’s see now…where to start? Oh, well, how about the Thursday evening arrival of a horde of vintage Buicks carrying a whole bunch of…ummm…really vintage women from all over the danged country? They’re from a group that calls itself the Secret Ladies Society for the Study of Earthly Psychic Occult Phenomena…or SLSSEPOP, for short. The youngest is their leader (from Nebraska) and she is easily 85. They apparently have been hearing the reports of the spiritualist gatherings here at The Compound and decided to make a trek to see for themselves. All were wearing bright orange t-shirts with SLSSEPOP in purple lettering. One of the sisters (as they refer to themselves) – Sister Edna – is 95 and drove here from Maine. I did my best to assure them that the spiritualists gave up trying to conjure the ghost of Temple Houston after several days. They seemed unfazed by the earlier failures. According to Sister Tilda – the society’s leader, or as they call her, The Grand Exalted Sister Guide – the society has determined that The Cab is a portal to the spirit world and they’re after more than a mere hard-drinking, ill-tempered, gun slinging lawyer. Sister Tilda informed me that they will need at least ten days to explore the opening and see who they can summon forth “from the other side.” Now, if it had been anyone other than a herd of great grandmothers gathered on the lawn, I might have considered resorting to violence to rid them from The Compound and lock the gates. Sister Tilda began chanting “taro, karo, ab-salami” and was soon joined by the others. Guess I’m stuck with them. I sent Cousin Fred into town to pick up some groceries. We appear to be in the business of the care and feeding of a secret ladies society now. More Buicks arrived yesterday. Sister Tilda tells me that they expect several more coming from California. The Cali chapter is expected to arrive today. Cousin Fred offered that we could post stuff on Facebook for a vintage Buick show and charge people $5 a head to come into The Compound. Hmmmm…will have to give that some thought. And, speaking of ways to make an extra buck or two… I know I sometimes rant and carry on in this blog about Oklahoma’s secret society of idiots, namely the state legislature without offering any sort of reasonable alternative to their shenanigans. But, today won’t be any different. It has come to my attention that House Bill 1686 has passed out of committee and moved to the floor. I’ll do my best to explain this without too much hyperbole or fuss. Nah, that’s not true. The Oklahoma House, whose motto, taken from the Aramaic, is “We know what’s best for you!”, is now debating the merits of 1686, which, while eliminating the sales tax on beer and spirits (not a bad thing in my humble opinion, at least on the surface) more than doubles the excise tax on the wholesale end. Who do you think the wholesalers are going to pass those additional costs to? Yup, you and me…the drinkers of Oklahoma. By some estimates the increased excise tax would raise the cost of spirits by as much as $3.50 per liter. BUT, it won’t stop there. If the wholesalers see that kind of increase in what they have to pay, they won’t simply pass it along to the consumer. They will add in their “load” – administrative costs in connection with calculating the higher excise tax, etc. – so that $3.50 increase per liter of your favorite rot-guy vodka will show up as an increase of as much as $7.00. Now I’ve tried to figure the angle here, but Oklahoma’s tax apportionments are so complex that it would take days to figure it all out. Almost certainly, it will add additional money to the state treasury allowing them to spend more on rural freeways and lavish orgies at the crumbling state capitol. It is also in line with Queen Mary’s roll back the sales tax to help the little people plan (which screws municipalities, by the way). And, most importantly, it allows the moron bill writer to go back home to Bugtussle and tell his constituents that it is the first step toward total prohibition in the state! They’ll name the town square after him! The idiot who wrote the bill, Rep. Harold Wright, or, as he’ll henceforth be known, Rep. Prep-H Wrong, added some tax apportionment language to his bill so the municipalities, counties, etc. wouldn’t raise too much hell if this thing actually makes it through the door to Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin’s desk for signature. If you live in southern Kansas or anywhere near the Oklahoma border of Arkansas, Texas, or Missouri…heed my words – open a “real” beer, wine, and liquor store immediately. You’ll make a fortune from the Okies driving pell-mell across the state line to find cheaper booze if this latest act of genius by the Oklahoma Legislature makes it into law. That is all…for now! Comments are closed.
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