If You're an Oklahoma Teacher, Get Out Now While You Still Can!

You know…it does my heart good to see that Cosmic City Blog is making a real impact on our region and our state.  And no, I’m talking about my blogging of Cousin Fred’s exploits.  Nope.  I’m talking about real, substantive issues that CCB has reported on in the past like the State Attorney General’s slush fund (aka, Evidence Fund) and the impending crisis in paying teachers enough to stay in Oklahoma.

Let’s jump right in…shall we?

Finally, one of the morons “working” at 2300 North Lincoln Blvd has come up with an idea.  And, it may actually be a good one!  And, the idea came from one of our own! 

Back in late April, CCB reported on an AP story wherein Oklahoma’s Tobacco Settlement Endowment Trust Fund had topped $1 billion following a payment of another $76 million into the fund.  75% of the $76M went to the Trust Fund.  The remaining 25% was divided between “health care appropriations” and the Oklahoma Attorney General’s Evidence Fund…whatever the hell that is.  Seriously, I’ve been looking for answers since April, but can’t find anyone who can (or is willing to) tell me what the Evidence Fund is used for.  If you know, contact me and I promise to protect the source.

In that same posting, I even raised questions about what the state plans to do with the money besides accumulate it.  I suggested that some of it be put toward smoking cessation programs to help people stop already with the tobacco products.  I suspect Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin has bigger plans for it like erecting a golden statue of herself on the plaza in front of the Capitol.  Or, perhaps finding a bigger, “nicer” RV for her daughter, Hellkat One.

But, I digress…

Back in May, as the morons in OKC were working toward their summer, fall, and early winter break.  Someone decided it would be a great idea to give teachers in Oklahoma a raise.  Problem is, funding for the raise would come from the teacher’s pension fund.  DOH!  Almost simultaneously, one of the morons decided it would be a great idea to allow teachers to carry guns in schools.  We at CCB saw this as a diversionary tactic (not to mention a generally BAD idea) to draw attention away from the fact that the broke-d**k state legislature was robbing the teacher pension fund to pay current teachers. 

According to a Guest Editorial (from the Tulsa World whose motto translated from the Latin is “Screw You, We’re From Tulsa) and printed in today’s edition of Woodward News, our very own Bryce Marlatt (Republican State Senator - Woodward) has come up with an idea that is so sinister it may actually work.  His idea is to tap the Tobacco Settlement Endowment Fund for roughly $40 million to give all of the teachers in the state a little bump (very little actually, it works out to roughly $760 per teacher).  According to the editorial this is probably not the best way to fund teacher pay increases…rather the people in Tulsa would prefer to see a slight bump in state income tax rates or at least the cancellation of the 0.25% reduction that will take effect January 1st.  Hmmmmm…yeah…that’s not likely to happen. 

We at CCB applaud Senator Marlatt for at least coming up with something.  This state is bleeding teachers and it’s only going to get worse.  Using the endowment fund to pay something, anything to teachers is probably not a bad idea.  With the endowment funds available, I have to believe the Oklahoma Attorney General’s Evidence Fund could wait another year or two to receive its slush money.  Or maybe not…like I said, who the hell knows what the Evidence Fund is being used for?  Do I actually expect Senator Marlatt’s idea to be implemented?  Of course not.  Oh, they’ll debate it for a while.  Some whacky state representative will undoubtedly try to tie it to yet another bill seeking to make masturbation a felony in Oklahoma.  In the end, nothing will happen. 

Teachers will run out of this state assuming they can find a decent road on which to make their escape.  Please, please do not put Mike Morgan in charge of the exodus.  HRH will likely use ODOT and its contractors to block all outbound routes in an attempt to force teachers to remain in the state.  Kids in the state will be left teacherless and grow even more stupid with each passing day.

But, no worries…they have their i-devices to keep them company.