I Blame a Senator From Mississippi and the Veterans Administration for How My Life Turned Out!

I noted this morning that Woodward News (whose motto translated from the Latin is, “Yeah, we have news, but you have to pay for it”) on page 2A ran a piece that previews the Friday film and panel offerings at this year’s inaugural Twister Alley Film Festival.  Why they didn’t include the Saturday films is beyond us, guess they’re waiting to surprise us tomorrow (note to Woodward News – we at CCB are watching).  By the way, congratulations to Woodward News for spelling one of the “A-list Stars” name correctly…finally.

So the film fest kicks off this Thursday night (4/23) with a BBQ and reception at Centennial Park that will include actors, producers, and filmmakers.  For a mere $12 you get the Thursday BBQ plus admission to every film shown over the weekend.  It’s a bargain, I’m telling you.  Please support this event…it’s a great idea and will be very good for Woodward.  Tickets are available at www.twisteralleyfilmfestival.com .

When CCB first posted about the festival a few weeks ago, I made a commitment (to be committed) to produce a film that could be shown at next year’s festival.  After reading through the slate of indie cinematic masterpieces on tap for Friday, I soon realized that I would have to step up my game.  There are some decent films being shown.  I’m thinking a horror/fantasy film involving the lesser prairie-chicken won’t make the cut. 

I did note that the “Midnight Feature Presentation” (note to self, starts at midnight…take a nap) is a mockumentary entitled, “Quad-X: Rise of the Beaver Slayer”.   Lest you think this a film about a bunch of hillbillies blowing up beaver dams so the creek doesn’t back up and flood their duck blinds…no sir.  The blurb in the article reads, “Quad-X is a spoof of the billion dollar adult film industry.”  Huh?  In Woodward, OK? 

Do the Baptists know about this yet?

The trailer for Quad-X is viewable on YouTube here.

Oh…okay…so it’s a comedy…sort of…I think. 

After watching the trailer this morning, I was reminded of my own near miss with the adult film industry.  When my first four-year enlistment in the Navy was done, I actually considered attending classes at a school in Hollywood that prepared “actors” for adult films.  I was fifty pounds lighter and had hair – on my head, no less!  And, believe it or not, at the time you could use your G.I. Bill education benefits to pay for it!  I couldn’t make that up!

I even had a stage name.  Was going to call myself “The Long Ranger”…figured that way I could get away with wearing a mask so my Grandmother wouldn’t know it was me.  Clever, eh?

Only problem was the Veterans Administration was coming under fire for some of the “education” they were funding.  Some Mississippi senator made them change the rules as to what qualified as a course of education for our nation’s veterans.  Rat bastard.  So that didn’t work out for me…instead, I got married…the first time…come to think of it, that didn’t work out so well either.

But, I digress…

The point here is that I’m going to have to come up with something pretty darned special if I expect my film to be shown at next year’s festival.  If you have any ideas, please send them to [email protected] .  In the meantime, I plan to attend the meet/greet on Thursday night.  Perhaps I can find a real producer to produce my film…that doesn’t actually exist…nope, not so much as a seed of an idea.

See you in the movies!