HRH Could Learn a Few Things From Supreme Leader...

I’m happy to report that nearly all is in place for the Memorable Memorial Day Weekend here at Lake Mountebank (aka, the compound).  If you’ve been following the exploits of getting things done here at the compound, then you know it’s been an adventure.  If you haven’t been paying attention…then, why aren’t you or maybe you’re just new to Cosmic City Blog?  Just keep scrolling down, it’ll fall into place for you.

Honestly, the only thing we’re missing are hordes of savage holiday-fun-seeking-RV-people ready to pay out hard-earned cash for the privilege to…eh, whatever.  Please send us your hordes of RVs…we’ll give ‘em homemade hooch.  We have boat ramps that will double as ski runs in the winter.  We have adult refreshments.  We have toilet facilities imported all the way from western Arkansas (only the best for you).  We have coin-operated electrical hook-ups for your RVs, but no sewage hook-ups.  We even have a band for Saturday night with quality entertainment provided by Wiley Piemore and His Prairie Dawgs.  Wiley and the boys will be performing songs from their new album, “Beloved Tunes of Western Reggae Swing”.  We have a food vendor - WR’s Taco and Bierox Emporium in Shattuck.  They’ll will be serving up all your favorite Mexican and German cuisine. I’ve asked the sister’s son, (aka, the nephew), to come out here today to help me build enclosures for championship badger wrestling and a rabid skunk petting zoo.  Now, that’s quality family fun.  I’ve also been working to get a few extras actors from the real Hollywood to stop by, but everyone I’ve tried to contact is either in Cannes selling t-shirts or dead.  We even have a MAD woman on the porch here at the compound, muttering to herself.

What more do you people want!?

Eh, I figure things will pick up once the park rangers at Ft. Supply and Canton begin turning people away because all of their less-quality, no-entertainment RV sites are taken. 

By the way, we figured out last night that we really can’t sell Mr. Kim’s Korean Plum Wine hooch out of the RV.  Apparently, you have to have a state license to open a bar…even a mobile bar…stupid state laws.  So, instead, we’re just giving it away (can you say, “party, party, party”).  But we would very much appreciate your (ahem) “tipping” Mr. Kim.  Also, just so you know, we’ve parked Mr. Kim’s RV far away from the actual campgrounds.  Frankly, with the fumes emanating from the tank of plum wine hooch it’s probably a fire hazard and at any rate is causing a contact high for anyone within 50 feet. 

But, I digress…

So in between digging out boat ramps and setting up luxurious high-quality plastic facilities imported from Arkansas, I took a little time to catch on the type of news that has made CCB famous.

I came across an interesting, albeit somewhat confusing article on the Huffington Post site.  The article described a recent tirade by North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong Un (no relation to our Mr. Kim – I checked).  He was upset at terrapin (fancy Korean word for turtle or alumni from the University of Maryland – take your pick) farmers for failing in their efforts to raise lobsters.  I know…huh?  Supreme Leader Kim said that the farm is out dated and (horror of horrors) not revolutionary enough.  Dang. 

As I was reading that I was trying to figure out why you would expect turtle farmers to be able to breed lobsters?  Hmmm...both have a shell, I suppose, though the lobster’s is actually an exoskeleton.  The comparisons end there, me thinks.  One gives off a funk that my mutt, Molly, likes to roll around on.  The other looks like a pissed-off giant Florida cockroach.  Seems to me this is like telling Oklahoma beef producers to start raising South American scarrittias.  Both are mammals, both are hoofed animals.  But, it ends there…scarrittias are extinct.  Hahaha

Supreme Leader was most upset that his pet (he wanted to name his lobsters) project, a two-year lobster breeding program has never gotten off the ground (or in this case, into the tank).  He blamed the failure on a “manifestation of incompetence, out-moded ways of thinking, and irresponsible work style.” 

Wow…that had to sting. 

After reading the article, it really got me to thinking.  Maybe that sort of hard-nosed regime-style leadership is what’s needed to get the morons that comprise the state government to get their collective act together and do something substantive that doesn’t involve collecting cash “donations” from the people you’re supposed to be regulating to pay off your family’s debts or offering to become the human torch or (as I recently read about) pressing the wrong button during a critical vote.

Maybe there’s a lesson in leadership through intimidation for Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin in Supreme Leader Kim’s style.  The morons in the State Legislature aren’t getting anything done…publicly shame them and call them morons.  ODOT is using the gestation period of a Javan rhino (19 months) as the timeline for completing one corner of an intersection that a six-year-old with a Tonka truck could have done in one week?  Call them out on it.  Oklahoma Wildlife Counters eating up too much time and resources on a project that in the big picture of things doesn’t amount to squat?  Take their helicopters away and tell them get a job…a real job…no more fake counting jobs.

I guess the big difference between the leadership styles of Supreme Leader and HRH is that if you piss of Supreme Leader you get disappeared.  HRH just promotes the offender to a higher level of incompetence.

Well…I feel better now. 

See you at the lake this weekend!