 Yea…it’s Monday! It doesn’t get much better than this, now does it? Weird week last week though. First we had the Tour de Trump, with a run through the G-7 (soon to be G-6) in Canada followed by an all-night flight to Singapore for a meeting with The Trump’s newest BFF Kim Jong-Uno, then back to DC for The Trump’s 72 birthday accompanied by (reportedly) lots of kisses from Melania before she takes off for NYC and that’s followed by The Trump’s impromptu press conference on the North Lawn of the WH where the media gathered like a pack of dogs for the president of the United States to insult people and then end the morning romp with Fox News superstar (barf) Steve Doocy (or, as he’s known in parts of the Northern Baja where he likes to pretend he’s someone suave, intelligent, and important, El Douché). Phew, that was some week. Eh? But, hey, we have a new one to look forward to this week. Can’t wait…no really, just can’t wait. Here at The Compound we taped the first episode of Mr. Robin: Confessions of an Insolent Hash Slinger. You know how they say that the camera adds 10 pounds? Mine adds 100 pounds. There’s a confession for you! More to come on that. So, did you hear the one about the estranged wife in Florida who was trying to sell the family air conditioning unit and wound up shooting her ex-husband in the gonads? No? Hang on, folks, it’s a vapid tale of greed, hillbilly values, and family conflict! I so love it when you people misbehave! Okay, so Kimberly D of Lake City, Florida was attempting to sell the window unit from her fabulous mobile home on Facebook. Probably needed money for grits and/or gator bait. Her former brother-in-law sees said ad on Facebook and reports same to brother (Kimberly’s ex) …with me so far? Ex husband (we’ll call him, One Left) and brother-in-law drive over to Kimberly’s trailer to take back alleged window AC unit – One Left was probably given custody of it in the divorce settlement. One Left was trying to unhook the unit from the window and remove same to his truck when Kimberly came out from inside and jumped up on the unit “in protest” (according to police report). Brother-in-law swings into action and is helping his brother try to remove Kimberly from the unit when she produces a Taser from her waistband. She attempts to shoot the two brothers with the weapon, but brother-in-law whacks her in the head before she can pull the trigger. Problem solved, she’s now on the ground. Well, problem solved maybe. She comes up with a pistol that she’s pulled from her waistband. That must be some waistband that girl has – wonder what else she has in there. No…don’t want to know. She fires a shot at One Left who is hit in the testicles. The brother-in-law punches Kimberly in the head (again) and begins strangling her. He was reportedly screaming, “You shot my brother!” No sh*t genius. Brother-in-law continued said strangulation until Kimberly passed out. Guess what happened then…go on guess. Play theme from Dragnet…NOW! Yep, the cops show up. One Left is transported to the hospital where he is reported to have recovered. As the cops are dragging Kimberly off to jail, she reportedly told them that she only meant to scare One Left and his brother. She said didn’t mean to shoot him in the balls, she loves him after all. Uh huh. But, wait there’s more! So, Kimberly was supposed to show for a preliminary hearing on Thursday. Guess what? She didn’t show. Imagine that… The judge issued a bench warrant for contempt of court and she was promptly arrested, again, and is now sitting in the jail. See? America is already great! Hey, maybe The Trump will pardon her! Yeah, that’s the ticket! That is all! Comments are closed.
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