Hey, Buddy...yeah you...need a deer crossing or men at work sign? Got one, right here, Buddy!4/27/2016
![]() Good Wednesday…hump day…mid-week…whatever. Cousin Fred and I missed the weather drama yesterday. We’re in Philadelphia this morning following a night in which The Trump swept five states on his way to the GOP nomination. You know, I never really thought he would pull this off, but I’m beginning to realize, it may very well happen. I would caution political neophytes though to never underestimate the cunning and underhandedness of the GOP. It’s a long way to convention, baby. Cousin Fred and I watched the primary results in our hotel room. Frankly, I’ve never been a big fan of being down on the floor anywhere there’s a crowd and The Trump’s fans make me particularly nervous. So we sat in our hotel room eating cheese-steak sandwiches and drinking beer. I’ve not paid much attention to the travel itinerary, but I presume we’re off now for Indiana. That’ll be fun…barf. I hate that state and every time I’ve had to drive through it, I go as fast as possible just praying I can get to the state line without being mugged, infected, or arrested. I’m working to get close to Gigi…The Trump’s hairdresser. Never heard of Gigi, you say? That’s because no one can get near her. She is sequestered from contact with public and the media in particular. The way I see it, The Trump has two Achilles heels…the first is his hair. He is famous for not letting TV makeup people near it. He’d break someone’s arm before he’d let them touch it. It’s one of my goals to get a photo at some point that reveals what manner of wig or dead cat with the mange that is atop his noggin. I’ve also picked up grumblings from the rest of the press corps that The Trump is a rabid germaphobe. I got a hint of that when I witnessed him come off the plane in Philadelphia yesterday, shake everyone’s hands and then dip his hands in a vat of germkiller foam. I’m planning to work that angle a bit and see if we can see The Trump in full meltdown mode. Like I said, it’s a long way to convention, baby! The signs are all there. And speaking of signs…did you hear the one about the mayor of a small town in upstate New York who is accused of stealing 111 road signs from the New York Dept. of Transportation? It seems the 60 year old mayor has worked for NY-DOT in the sign workshop since 2001. He has served as the town’s mayor since 2004. Now you’re probably asking yourself, what in the hell would he do with 111 road signs? I know I was. I thought that perhaps he was some kind of nutty collector who filled a barn with the darn things and then invited those two dweebs from ‘American Pickers’ to come by and make an offer. Nah, if even you were that much of a collector, who cares? Then I wondered if maybe he was stealing them to sell on eBay to poorer states (perhaps Indiana – hate that state) where they can’t afford new road signs. Seriously, purloined signage in Indiana would be better than what they currently use, which is nothing. Even GPS gets confused there. Turns out the Lord High-Mayor of Frankfort Village, NY was stealing the signs and then handing them over to the Village’s public works department for use around town. Yeah, seems that small towns in New York normally have to make application and pay a fee to get signage from the NY-DOT. Mr. Mayor by-passed all that. I say, good for him! If you’ve ever tried to get Cosmic City or Cosmic County for that matter to install…oh, let’s say, a Children at Play sign…near your home, you know how frustrating it can be. Of course, for his trouble, he was arrested by New York State Police on 111 Class A Misdemeanor counts and will have to stand trial. I don’t know why they’re making such a fuss…it’s a sign of the times. Hahahaha Comments are closed.
|
Archives
March 2019
Categories |