 Happy Monday (New Year’s Eve) everybody. The last day of 2018 and I can tell you I’m glad to see it go. Hope you had a great Christmas holiday, we’re in the homestretch now. Just have to make it past midnight tonight. That’s when the clock resets and you’ve another 365 days with which to achieve something, anything. Get off your collective butts and get out there! Okay, okay, enough with the cheerleading. By the way, we here at The Compound are still operating from a deficit of fruitcake, so if you received a few tins from various relatives who had no idea what to get you, drop them off here. We’ll keep the gates open over the next few days. As many of you know, I’ve been convalescing over much of December. While it was my intent to work on some projects during my recovery, I soon discovered that was neither practical nor smart. So, I’ll be mondo busy here over the next few weeks trying to catch up. If you’re planning to stop and “chat” when you drop the fruitcake, you’ll likely find yourself talking to one of The Compound mutts (Compound Ready Alert Force, as we call them). Drop the fruitcake and drive away. The ankle you save may be your own. We thank you! Friends, did you get all that you dreamed of in terms of Christmas gifts? Probably not unless you’re Fearless Leader, of course. He got the best gift anyone could have given him. Namely, a Federal judge who issued a ruling that Fearless Leader’s narcissistic, moronic, and altogether untrue tweets are mere speculation and political opinion as opposed to a basis for confirmation, interference, and/or obstruction of justice. How’s that for a rigged system? We all learned the hard way from the seemingly endless O.J. Simpson (he’s out and creeping around now, you know) fiasco that a person can get away with just about anything and/or get the result they want if, 1) said person has enough $$$ to buy enough attorneys (insert your own attorney joke here) to beat a dead horse to a state of more dead (read as, get the verdict you want), and/or; 2) you find a sympathetic jurist who will steer things your way. And, yes, I realize I’m probably not being very fair here. I’m sure the Federal judge who issued that ruling was probably not overly sympathetic. Perhaps he just enjoys waking up in the morning to Fearless Leader’s late-night tweets. Word has it though that he did receive one of those special White House fruitcakes with a gold presidential seal stamped on the top of the tin. Okay, I’m making that part up. The point here is that for those people/organizations (mostly media) that have filed suit against Fearless Leader trying to get the courts to declare his tweets as confirmation of various sundry government conspiracies are doomed. The attorneys involved will have to go back to defending deranged, psychotic clients with whom they later sleep (oh, it happens). Trump wins. Let the Twitter feeds continue! Speaking of Twitter feeds, you know, every year a new holiday tradition on Twitter plays out, to wit: people tweeting about the most bizarre gifts that they receive at Christmas. This year was no different, so we thought we would close out the year with some of the worst. Let’s see, there’s the woman who received a shower curtain emblazoned with an image of Jeff Goldblum’s face (above). Have to admit it’s a bit creepy. And, what’s with the bonus image of a gorilla in the lower corner? Oh, there’s the roll of toilet paper that comes with Trump’s visage on each sheet. Sorry, but that one seems both practical and humorous. There’s the red sequined throw pillow that includes images of Nicholas Cage. Again, somewhat practical and I guess humorous. At least, in this case you aren’t wiping you a** with it. Nick Cage has become the Kevin Bacon of the late-2010’s for some reason. Personally, I enjoy his work. How about a 2019 photo calendar of defecating dogs? I’M NOT MAKING THIS UP! It’s very popular. Oh, speaking of weird calendars, the hot item in Japan right now is a calendar of nothing but shirtless photos of Vlad (the Poot) Putin. WTF? Okay, I’m going to work on a 2020 Compound calendar to issue next year. You’re all getting one! Hmmmm. There’s the Judge Judy prayer candle. That’s wrong on so many levels. A “People of Walmart” adult coloring book. Now that I have to find. One poster received a Barak Obama Chia Pet. Just turn that over in your head a few times. One of those rubbery stress balls that you can sit and squeeze all day…these are made to look like a male scrotum and are called “Stressticles”…again, just so wrong. Oh, and the crème de la crème, how about a bar of soap made from fur? Excuse me while I go barf. Anywho, I hope everyone got what they wanted. If not, regift it next year (they won’t remember). Happy New Year! That is all! Comments are closed.
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