From Russia with Love?...Oklahoma prefers its teachers to be oppressed and sober...big plans in the works...can't wait!

So, did you hear about the parents of a high school kid in Ohio who ordered several bottles of wine and then replaced the labels with one that has a picture of their son and the words, “This child might be the reason you drink so enjoy this bottle on us!” They passed the bottles out to his teachers at school as Christmas gifts.

Clever, don’t you think?

Of course, you couldn’t do that here in Oklahoma. The state alcohol overlords, (aka, ABLE) would descend upon your household like a pack of locusts based on an obscure Oklahoma statute (courtesy of the morons on Lincoln Blvd) that makes it a Class 1 Felony to replace the labels of any alcoholic beverages and pass it off as your own.

Welcome to Oklahoma.

Your mug shot would be plastered on the back screen of every morning talk show in OKC with the hosts asking rhetorically (because you’re already locked away in a secret ABLE wing of the notorious – or is it infamous - Oklahoma County jail until you meet with an “unfortunate accident”), “What do you suppose they were thinking? Did they consider the teachers’ feelings in this? We, as Oklahomans like to oppress our educators. Teachers have come to expect that here. Wine given with even a humorous intent might make them feel <host shudders> empowered! Oh sure, today it’s wine. Tomorrow it’ll be a livable wage!”

Friends, what is it that makes you drink? Have you ever thought about it? For me, it’s easy. It’s Cousin Fred. He and Gigi the Hairdressing Hydrologist arrived back in the U.S. from their two-month holiday in Russia last night.

While I was glad to see the two of them again, I was quick to point out that the Wife would be back on The Compound in a little over a week, so they needed to sort out their living arrangements.

Cousin Fred chuckled and assured me that it was being taken care of, not to worry. Now, I’m worried.

He also informed me that he’s come up with a great idea for a new moneymaking proposal for us to work on. He said that he and Gigi (who was now face down on the table, snoring) worked it all out on the flight home. But first, he said, he needed sleep. He dragged the still-slumbering Gigi down the hall with him to the guest room.
I can’t wait to hear what he has in mind. Like I don’t have enough crap to keep me busy as it is!

Eh, well, that’s a worry for another day…today.

That is all!
 

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