 Welcome to Tuesday everybody! You’re already one day into your week and facing the second. Buck up shipmates and face your fate! Are there crazed savage terrorists lurking in your backyard hiding behind the chaise lounges? Probably not (one less thing to worry about). Is the IRS sending you certified hate mail saying they’re going to reduce your life to rubble if you don’t pay up? Hopefully not, but if they are, sue the bastards…that’ll tie things up for years and hopefully by then the IRS will be abolished (oh, it’s coming!). Are you sitting in a county jail awaiting arraignment for something that’s probably just a big misunderstanding (like clocking an IRS agent who came to your door)? As my friend the judge (and former rabid defense counsel) always says, “Admit nothing, deny everything. They have to prove their case against you.” Of course, if you’re sitting in the county jail you’re not able to even read this (so, what do you care)? Fearless Leader (our new name for The Trump) is on vaca in New Jersey. Jersey? Who the hell vacations in New Jersey unless of course you’re the governor then you kind of, have to, vacation there. Orrrr, if you’re The Trump and own an overly-hyped, overly-priced golf resort there! Fearless Leader is not allowing any of enemy of the people media anywheres near him…disgusting, war starting atavists that they are! But…and it’s a big ol’ butt…he still has access to Twitter. O’ the genius and wisdom that spews forth from said golf resort in the Garden State of New Jersey! Let’s see…on Sunday he was tweeting that the California wildfires are the result of too much fresh water being “dumped” into the Pacific. Hmmmm…yeah…there’s no climate change, global warming, years of drought and/or f**king arsonists at work here. Of course, that tweet ignores the fact that most of the firefighting going on out there is being undertaken with the use of fire retardant chemicals. There’s plenty of lake water for the planes and helos to suck up and drop on fires as needed…if needed. Maybe he wants to dam up the damn rivers and make the marine wildlife in the Pacific Ocean pay for the dams! That’ll show those stupid blue whales! Brilliant! Ohhhh, but wait…maybe there’s more to this thumb-mashing than meets the eye. The hidden subtext in his nonsense is the idea of redirecting rivers headed toward the ocean to irrigate the fields of farmers in California’s Republican-laden Central Valley. Well, Republican or not, who could be against farmers irrigating? I like asparagus too! Hmmm. I smells me a rat and that rat is a not so cleverly disguised diversion using horrific wildfires to push a political agenda. This rat of course ignores decades of research that says if you cut off the fresh water running headlong for the oceans, you’ll weaken native fish species. Egad, how will the poor salmon spawn! Hey, I like salmon as much as anyone! Fearless Leader’s tweet read, “California wildfires are being magnified & made so much worse by the bad environmental laws which aren’t allowing massive amounts of readily available water to be properly utilized. It is being diverted into the Pacific Ocean. Must also tree clear to stop fire spreading!” Thank you, Fearless Leader! A professor of climatology and wildfires at UC Merced was quoted as saying, “It [The Trump’s tweet] boggles the mind. We do manage all of our rivers in California, and all the water is allocated many times over. So I’m not sure what he was recommending.” He was recommending that all you overly-educated college professors need to shut the hell up and get in line with Fearless Leader’s vision! That’s what he’s recommending. Yeah, get a job, a real job, no more fake jobs worrying over salmon. You’ll eat whatever fish comes in a can and be happy about it! See, he did learn something new at his meeting with Kim Jong Uno in Singapore. Also, it’s worth pointing out that the Department of Interior has been working for years to clear public lands of overgrowth and scrub. Not to worry, Mr. President, your administration has this well in hand. Now, don’t all of you feel better? No? Too bad. Fearless Leader has spoken (or, at least tweeted)! That is all! Comments are closed.
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