![]() Happy Wednesday everybody, it’s the third day of October and I’m pleased to report that no matter how weird you think America has become in the past couple of years, it just got weirder. Fearless Leader is going to be texting every smartphone in America today, so you have that to look forward to! The test of the new system will go off at precisely 1:18pm CT (Compound Time) today. Yea, us! The crooks at FCC (“net neutrality – NEVER!”) in cahoots with the idiots at FEMA (“Puerto Rico? We did a fabulous job in PR!”) will launch a special Presidential text test today. Fearless Leader obviously wants to ensure that he can give us the real facts in case of a disaster, not the fake facts that the fake news guys would normally broadcast. Don’t you feel safer already? And, the thing is, you can’t avoid it. In order for cellular networks to operate inside the U.S. they all had to agree to allow Fearless Leader to text us at will. Isn’t that grand?! Bet his text will be something along these lines: “Hello, America made great by me! This is your president. The greatest president ever! I’m such a great president they may have to invent a new political party for me because I’m too great for the GOP. The Republicans are overwhelmed by my greatness and they can’t contain me. In fact, I’m thinking of becoming president for life. What do you think about that? The American people love me, they ALL love me. Okay that is all for now, just checking in, by the way if you’re female text back and tell me what you’re wearing!” FCC/FEMA – the newly designated propaganda arm of the federal government says they’re looking for feedback on today’s text test. Can you imagine some of the crap that will fling back? Well, by all means America, fling back! Fling back! Oh, but you may not have heard that there is a group in New York that has filed suit in federal court to block Fearless Leader’s fun! According to their complaint, they charge that Fearless Leader and his gang of thugs have created the alert system as a “violation of Americans' First and Fourth Amendment rights to be free from Government-compelled listening, as well as warrantless, non-consensual trespass into and seizure of their cellular devices.” The plaintiffs say that the alert system is a means of, “hijacking private property for the purpose of planting a Government-controlled loudspeaker in the home and on the person of every American.” The biggest complaints in the suit focus on Fearless Leader himself, with one of the complainants pointing out that he, “consistently disseminates disinformation and politically-biased messages." And, it continued from there, saying that all Americans should object to being forced to receive the alerts because, "messages sent by Trump typically include disinformation.” While, CCB’s own disgraced and disbarred legal counsel (it’s all we can afford) says that the suit is not entirely without merit, it will likely be dismissed out of hand because the federal government claims it is only to be used for national security and safety alerts and not Fearless Leader’s political nonsense. Hmmm…we’ll see! That is all!
Dee
10/3/2018 07:10:38 am
1984?? You're right, the fool will undoubtedly be unable to control his impulse to add to the message, so some adult had better be standing by to slap his tiny fingers.
Mr. Robin
10/3/2018 10:43:25 am
Hahahaha... Comments are closed.
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