Fear and Loathing in Woodward County...the Saga Continues

Busy day yesterday around the compound.  The plans for Lake Mountebank providing Ft. Supply Lake overflow are proceeding apace.  The brother-in-law came by with his front-end loader and we managed to get the boat ramps (four total) dug.  We had to make the boat ramps very long because the lake continues to enlarge.  The wife pointed out that once we return to a normal Oklahoma weather pattern and my “lake” dries up in August, the only thing remaining will be four ditches with a serious downhill grade.  I pointed out that if we get a lot of snow in winter we can always open the Mountebank Ski Resort.  She rolled her eyes and walked off. 

She’s just MAD because I only told her about my Memorable Memorial Day Weekend plans after the brother-in-law showed up with the equipment (nothing subtle about a big-ass tractor with a front-end loader wheeling through the yard and through the fence on the north side – needed an opening in that fence anyway for the RVs to come through).  

Once she learned what I was up to, the wife took to sitting on the porch, pulling on a bottle of Jack Daniel’s and chain smoking hand-rolled cigarettes (a sure sign that she’s really pissed – she doesn’t like rare Tennessee sipping whiskey and has never smoked in her life).  

Later that morning Cousin Fred, with his truck load of coin-operated solar-powered RV electrical hook-ups, arrived.  That was soon followed by Friend Lamont with his truckload of portable sanitation facilities.  The question then became how closely to the lake’s shore to put everything given that this weather is expected to continue through the week and indeed into the weekend.  Lake Mountebank continues to expand with every rain drop.  I’m not complaining mind you…hopefully all this rain will bring this region out of its prolonged drought…just need to figure out where to park the behemoth RVs that no doubt will soon be arriving.  The brother-in-law made a helpful suggestion that we might be able to control the size of the lake if he were to use the back-hoe to cut in a small channel that leads off this ridge.  Great idea, but I’m worried about flooding the town of Fargo in the distance. 

I do have lingering concerns that Memorial Day around here will be a wash-out with rain predicted all week.  If this weekend doesn’t work out, we’ll set our sights on Flag Day (Sunday, June 14th) assuming there’s still a Lake Mountebank then.  And to think, I moved back to NW Oklahoma for a more relaxed, less harried lifestyle.  Sheesh.

As all of this was taking place, Cousin Fred received a call from his roommate, Mr. Kim, who was driving his big RV which we plan to turn into a mobile bar from which he will sell his homemade Korean plum wine hooch.  It seems Mr. Kim stopped at the Cherokee Trading Post on his way here…Mr. Kim loves buffalo burgers.  Unfortunately, an Oklahoma ABLE (for those of you who don’t live in this great state that’s, Alcoholic Beverage Law Enforcement) K-9 unit had pulled into the Cherokee Trading Post for lunch.  The hooch-sniffing dog in the back of the unit got a whiff of the Korean plum wine hooch and flipped out.  The ABLE officer let the dog out of the vehicle and Fido (not his real name) began circling and sniffing around the outside of the RV.  The ABLE unit summoned an Oklahoma Highway Patrol unit.  Now there’s law moving all around the outside of the RV trying to figure out why a vehicle with Arkansas plates reeks of hooch wine.  Mr. Kim remained seated inside the restaurant and called Cousin Fred.

Cousin Fred’s best advice was for Mr. Kim to hightail it out the back of the restaurant and try to make his way to Seiling where we would come pick him up.  Admittedly, I was beginning to get a bit nervous.  Copious amounts of untaxed homemade hooch (wine or otherwise) is a capital offense in this state.  Besides, it wouldn’t be much of a Memorable Memorial Day Weekend without untaxed refreshing adult beverages.

Mr. Kim told Cousin Fred that the State Troopers were standing with weapons drawn next to his table inside the restaurant and wanted to have a discussion with him outside.  Mr. Kim hung up.

Those of us on the shores of Lake Mountebank stood wringing our hands and worrying about what would become of Mr. Kim. 

The brother-in-law climbed back up into the cab of his tractor and took off.  Said he didn’t want to be around when the OHP showed up at the compound to raid the place.  The wife remained on the porch chugging Jack Daniel’s and chain smoking the hand-rolled “tobaccy”…she was now laughing loudly as events continued to unfold.

After an hour, Cousin Fred’s phone rang…it was Mr. Kim again.  He said that he was back on the road and headed toward Woodward.  Apparently, he had built a huge hooch holding tank into the floor of the RV that is undetectable if you don’t know where to look.  He offered law enforcement on the scene that the smell was left over after his nephew borrowed the RV and had a wild weekend of partying on the Lake of the Ozarks.  He told them that he had been trying to get the smell out, but wasn’t having much luck.

They bought it (after a thorough search of the inside).  Go figure.

Okay, gotta get back to work.  The weekend is nearly upon us and there’s a break in the rain action.

Update:  Just came out of the house.  The wife is still on porch laughing maniacally, muttering something about Biblical rains and singing “My Philadelphia Home”.