![]() Good morning, everybody and happy freakin’ Monday to you. You know, people frequently ask me how it is that I can get up at 3:30AM every day. I tell them that it’s the only time I have to myself that I can wish a gazillion people on Facebook happy birthday, run through the overnight news and attempt to write yet another CCB post. I really needed a quiet Monday morning here. It was a hellish weekend with law enforcement and blazing fires. More on that in a second. First… My quick peek at the news this morning revealed doom and gloom for the Trump and the flying circus that was his campaign. At least that’s the case if you listen to the roving political strategist the Corpulent Ché Guevara. Why people still listen to him is beyond me. He was on national television this weekend saying that he sees no way for the Trump to win. You know, it’s a weird quirk in human nature that none of us is interested in backing a loser. We’re two weeks out from a general election and a respected (barf) talking head of your own party says he sees no way forward for you? Talk about the kiss of death even if no one cares what the Corpulent Ché has to say (olé). Seriously, if I’m an average angry male sitting at home and hear that the GOP’s “elite” (double barf) have turned against the Trump, what do you think I’m going to do on Election Day? I’m going to sit at home watching “I Love Lucy” reruns. It’s the same reason that people despise exit polls. But enough harsh reality. On to the goings-on here at The Compound over the weekend. To recap, as you may recall from Friday’s post, we (me, Cousin Fred, and Gigi) arrived back at The Compound late evening on Thursday after a long, long drive back from Vegas Baby!. I immediately took up a position on the front porch of the main house expecting all hell to bust loose when Cousin Fred took Gigi inside Hellkat One’s trailer where the Francesca had set up house again following her return from Colorado. With me so far? During the day Friday, Cousin Fred came up to the house where we were making plans for moving things back to Colorado to begin shooting the next season of “Bigfoot: Naked and Untamed” when I asked him about the sleeping arrangements in the trailer. Come on…you want to know, don’t you?! According to him, Gigi is sleeping on the bench that doubles as seating for the dining table. Cousin Fred slept on the couch in the push-out section. He says that the Francesca was alone in the bed in the back though he could hear her muttering most of the night. I pointed out that I thought Cousin Fred was playing with fire here. No good was going to come from this. He agreed and asked if it would be possible to move the Francesca into the house. I told him there was zero chance of that. Even though the Wife and Francesca seem to get along pretty well, she wouldn’t put up with anyone being in the house. Hell, she barely tolerates me. I told Cousin Fred that he needed to sort it all out and to please hurry up and do so before the Wife returned from her latest fabulous vacation. He said he would figure something out. Uh huh. I moved to lock the door when Cousin Fred left. Friday evening about six o’clock, I hear a ruckus out front and peer through the blinds to see the yard is filled with law enforcement. There were sheriff units, there were highway patrol units, and there was even an animal control unit from Cosmic City. I get outside to see them loading a handcuffed the Francesca into one of the sheriff units. They were arresting her for violating the terms of her bond that kept her in the state. I walked up to Cousin Fred, who was looking concerned, and asked if this was his solution? In the meantime, I see the hairdressing hydrologist Gigi standing in the doorway of Hellkat One’s trailer smoking a cigarette and gazing out at the spectacle. Cousin Fred informs me that he didn’t call anyone. It turns out that last overpasses on roads coming into Oklahoma from either Colorado or Kansas are equipped with special cameras to catch anyone that might be making runs into Colorado for legal marijuana to bring back. The Francesca’s image, taken as she careened down the highway in the chopped Lexus, tripped a database alert that set local crack crime fighting teams into action. So then I see one of the State Troopers on scene over looking at the trailer. He calls Cousin Fred over to point out that the tags on the trailer are long expired. I see the Trooper walk over to his unit to call in the tag. It obviously came back as registered to Her Royal Highness Mary of Fallin. The Trooper dropped it completely with a shake of his head, but then asked Cousin Fred for ID. That was my worst fear. I knew what was coming next. A quick check turned up the bond in Colorado which prohibited Cousin Fred from leaving that state. The State Trooper promptly arrests Cousin Fred for jumping bond in Colorado. There’s an extradition hearing set for Wednesday morning in Cosmic City. Finally, all of the law enforcement departs The Compound, having arrested everyone that could be arrested, I guess. Gigi disappeared back inside the trailer and I didn’t hear another peep out of her. Early Sunday morning, I got a text from the wife that she was extending her stay for an extra day and wouldn’t return to The Compound until Monday. She has another fabulous vacation coming up at the end of this week, which is probably just as well given all the weirdness unfolding around us here. Yesterday afternoon I was watching the Vikings – Eagles game on TV, or more to the point, watching Sam Bradford run for his life because his offensive line seemed incapable of holding back the Eagles. I heard the mutts barking furiously at something. As I moved into the garage to let them in through the side door, I thought I caught a whiff of smoke. When I stepped outside, I witnessed Hellkat One’s trailer fully engulfed in flames. Gigi was standing about 30 feet away with a bag at her feet. She turned and saw me still standing outside the side door. She smiled and waved. She picked up her bag and threw it in the backseat of the chopped Lexus. She drove off The Compound and out of sight. All that’s left is the metal frame of the trailer. No fire department showed up, it went so fast. I went back inside to finish watching the game. That is all. Comments are closed.
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