E Pluribus Vice

For those who were disappointed that Cosmic City Blog didn’t post anything new yesterday, I apologize.  Far be it from me to disappoint our growing audience (all none of you).  We here at CCB were busy at the compound yesterday when we were overrun by Lesser Prairie Chickens seeking sanctuary from government fowl counters (see post for 3/23/15 – do I have to explain all of my attempts at humor?).

We now have the Lesser Prairie Chickens settled within compound walls – note to self, keep an eye on the mutts today – so we’re off and running.  Where o’ where to start?

I know!  I came across two separate items involving the Federal government that are kind of, sort of related.  You get a two-fer!

Let’s start with our United States Congress, which is beginning to disturbingly resemble the Oklahoma State Legislature in thought, word, and deed.  I came across a piece from www.FederalNewsRadio.com that revealed some in Congress have deemed it necessary to propose a new law making it illegal for federal employees to check out porn while at the work.  What started this rolling is the case of an Environmental Protection Agency employee who was caught last year watching hours of porn every day on his government-provided computer.

Two thoughts came to mind as I considered that:

·         Who cares if an EPA employee is distracted all day with porn?  It keeps him from meddling in other peoples’ and/or companies’ business.  Heck, it was probably some industrialist group that paid for the porn web site subscriptions. 

·         How is it that EPA’s IT department didn’t notice someone spending HOURS every day looking at porn?  Over the past many years I’ve been in charge of day-to-day operations of private sector companies.  Part of that oversight was the IT stuff.  I can tell you that I could have identified someone looking at porn on a company system within seconds of their landing on the homepage. 

·         Okay, there’s actually a third thing.  This law doesn’t do anything really.  The dumbasses in Congress/Federal IT have obviously never heard the IT maxim that any IT roadblock put up today can be overcome tomorrow with a new technology.  Consider this; let’s say our intrepid federal employee (we’ll call him Fred) is hopelessly addicted to a particular site (insert your favorite fetish site here).  Fred knows that the IT department is watching his every move.  Hmmmm…it comes to him!  Eureka!  Fred disconnects his government provided laptop from the system, turns on the wireless circuit and uses his iPhone as a hotspot and voila!  Fred’s back to checking his favorite site as often as deems necessary without any prying eyes knowing…hint:  Fred…dude…lock your office door.

The point here is that Congress can waste time writing, debating, and voting on legislation that really should be a matter of moral ethics.  But I have to believe there are more pressing matters? 

In the case of a private company, the employee would have immediately been terminated for cause.  Not so, with the Federal Government.  The EPA employee was caught nearly a year ago.  He’s been on PAID leave ever since until the government (gub’ment if you’re from Georgia) figures out how to properly terminate him so he doesn’t sue.  Yeesh!

OH…one last tidbit on this piece…the legislation makes an exception for those feds, such as law enforcement, who have to watch porn as part of their work.  Seriously.  Maybe the EPA guy should apply to one of those jobs?  He certainly has experience.

Next up in our tales of Federal lust is a story from the Associated Press that cites a “federal watchdog” who exposed several Drug Enforcement Agency (DEA) employees for attending sex parties in Colombia with prostitutes (allegedly hired by drug cartels (no conflicts of interest there!)).  Exacerbating the situation was that they were having these parties on U.S. government-leased properties.  According to one witness, several agents were provided with money, expensive gifts, and weapons.  The AP report says that seven agents admitted attending the parties and that DEA issued suspensions ranging from (get ready for this) 2-10 days. 

Really?  I don’t even know how to comment on something like that.  I’m speechless.  So, let’s review shall we?  DEA agents, allegedly sent to Colombia to thwart drug trade, are allegedly having sex parties with prostitutes that were allegedly hired by members of alleged drug cartels, the agents are allegedly accepting gifts from said alleged party hosts, and allegedly having all this “fun” on alleged government property. 

Apparently, I’m the only person who finds this sort of behavior troubling on soooooooo many levels, because their own agency slapped their wrists and put them back to work.  Judas priest…

And they wonder why I drink.