 Yeah, yeah, it’s Monday. Big deal. Get over it. Pull your big boy pants on and get to work, ya bum! The tumultuousity (a real scientific word I just made up) here at The Compound continued through the weekend. I tell you, there’s no peace if you’re me! Now, it’s Monday and I’m smoking ribs today using the old Rib Ranch recipe and technique. I’ll be adding to that Rib Ranch-style beans and Northern Baja Carne Asada (made that yesterday) and then delivering it as a meals on wheels to the Folks this afternoon. By the way, all that I just previously mentioned comes after more than a decade of grilling/BBQ/smoking trial and error and conversation with the Master (R.C. hisself). I’ll be sharing all of that and more in the upcoming Cooking with Mr. Robin videos that we’ll be adding to the CCB web site in about a week. We actually began adding our Blogcast podcasts to the web site last week for those of you too lazy to read these posts. Check it out at http://www.cosmic-city-blog.com/almost-daily-blogcasts . The podcasts and the videos (next week) stream from YouTube on the CCB YouTube Channel so there’s nothing to download. You can thank me later! But, enough with the cheesy self-promotion already! On to matters at hand. Friends, do you believe in science? And, just to be clear, I’m not talking about the weird science you often find in this area that puts forth the idea that dinosaurs roamed the earth 5,000 (yes, that’s five thousand) years ago and that little girls in polka-dot dresses (very popular 5,000 years ago) rode around on a stegosaurus. For those of you who don’t live around here and are pondering just what the heck I speak of, I’m NOT making it up! Seriously, I’m not that crazy. And, people wonder why I drink. No, I’m talking about science, real science…not fake science. The same science that has cured people of diseases, made it possible for you (the layperson) to understand dark matter (and why you should care), made it rain (on a small scale) in the Sahara, and the same science that is trying to find a way for you get your French fries home from McDonald’s without them being a soggy, starchy, salty mess. Wait. What? Yeah, so I’m running through my overnight news feed and come across an article that was originally published in the New York Times (a very anti-dinosaurs-among-us bunch) about how scientists, real actual scientists, have turned their brains toward the problem of achieving crispy fries for those of us on the move. Seriously? That’s the most important problem facing humanity today? But, I digress. Scientists at Lamb Weston, the company that packages fries for the likes of McDonald’s and KFC are trying to figure out what causes a French fry to lose its…ummmm, shall we say tumescence…only to shrivel and go limp after 10 minutes. And then once they figure that out, how to fix it. Come to think of it, this is science I can get behind…not to mention get a big behind. They say that potatoes raised in areas with lots of moisture make the worst fries. Okay, they didn’t actually say that. What they actually said was that the best fries come from potatoes grown in more arid environments make better, crispier fries. Wait, that’s the same thing I said before, but without all the suboptimals and crucials; terms the real actual scientists used to show they have Ph.D.’s. Cousin Fred and I are volunteering to be test subjects in this scientific exploration. Just our way of paying it forward (whatever the hell that means). The other thing that the scientists have figured out is that fries stay crispier in plain paper wrappers rather than plastic bags (plastic bags, who the hell does that?) or even wax lined paper. Of course, the downside here is that the grease (sweet, delicious grease) is going to soak through the bag. Dear scientists, do humanity a favor, will you? Maybe focus less on making us candidates for lifelong cardiology care and focus your education and brain power on something real and helpful. Let’s see there’s global warming (just don’t tell the GOP what you’re up to); curing cancer (once and for all); figuring out a way I can live to 150 (I’m a life pig, you know); and/or, a pill to fix stupidity (as the old Refreshments song states so emphatically, “Everybody knows, the world is full of stupid people”). Be sure to pet your stegosaurus today! That is all! Comments are closed.
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