![]() Happy Monday everyone! Happy to be here and proud to serve! Okay, not really. I’m just trying to motivate myself, had a tough time getting my ass out of bed this morning. It was a long weekend. Cousin Fred and I are back at The Compound now. The Nephew got me back to town in time to attend the Twister Alley Film Festival schmooze fest on Thursday night. I was able to be seen and managed to photobomb some selfies of the Hollywood types who were in attendance. People aren’t likely to forget me anytime soon! I was actually headed out the door on Friday afternoon to attend the Okie Shorts block of TAFF, when guess-who drove into The Compound. No not Burton Cummings, yep, Cousin Fred. He just came driving in and promptly went into Hell Kat One’s trailer. No word on where he disappeared to in Indianapolis. No word at all. And, he wasn’t alone. There was a woman who, from a distance, appeared to be Gigi…The Trump’s personal hairdresser. Gadzooks! What the hell is she doing here, I asked? Fortunately, no one answered. She was – is – the most highly sought after interview of this presidential campaign! The one person who can tell us what manner of dead animal or alien prairie grass is atop The Trump’s gourd. I mean…who is minding the presidential plait? The Trump at the time was headed to Washington State. Maybe there’s more than one Gigi. Maybe she is only needed once a week or…something. But what the hell is she doing at The Compound? I had the interview of the year right here, but had already passed off my 4,000 words to MAD Magazine. Maybe I could sell this to the New York Times or, to give it some real weight, the National Enquirer. Regardless, I really wanted to know how Cousin Fred came to be in her company! But, I was in a hurry so I let it go at the time. I wanted to get to the Arts Theatre in Cosmic City for the Okie Shorts, so I could schmooze with Oklahoma filmmakers. Remember, kids, schmooze is everything, substance is nothing. I didn’t see Cousin Fred again until early Saturday morning when I was outside stringing lights for the Derby Day party. It was to be the final blow-out of Cousin Fred and me before The Wife returned from the wilds of Mexico. Attendance at the Derby Day bash was already impacted by a major family event with The Brother-in-Law’s family, so I wasn’t sure how many people were going to show. Still, we were determined to make it happen. And now we were impacted by the presence of Gigi. For some reason this wasn’t settling well with me. Cousin Fred approached me from out of the pre-dawn gloom holding in his hand my missing wallet! Without a word, he handed me the wallet and then climbed a ladder to hang more lights. Finally, I couldn’t stand it any more. I asked if, in fact, that is Gigi in Hellkat One’s Trailer? He responded in the affirmative. So, then, I asked, well who’s mind The Trump’s Coif? Not to worry, he told me. Gigi needs to be back in New York City by Monday evening to “rework” her magic. Oh, great! That means another trip to OKC, but I was determined that Cousin Fred was on his own for that. He told me not to worry about it, that I wouldn’t have to be involved in moving her to the airport. I asked how it was that he had my wallet. He said that his own wallet was lifted by one of The Trump’s loyal supporters (band of thieves that they are) at the party in our suite in Indy. When Gigi suggested they move to her hotel across town, Cousin Fred grabbed my wallet, figuring that he could use my ID if necessary since we look a lot alike (he is a handsome devil, I’ll give him that). The Derby Day party was as expected, a complete drunken brawl. I lost a ton of dough on Gun Runner and continued drowning my sorrows. I think we went through every last drop of booze on the place (and, believe me, that’s a lot…this is a Compound after all, I was stocking up for the Zombie apocalypse). Word has it that the Sheriff’s Dept is still searching for The Compound…it’ll be another few days before they find it. By the time The Wife returned from her trip on Sunday afternoon, the place was pretty much back to normal. Well, except that Gigi was laying out on the chaise lounge in front of Hellkat One’s trailer. The Wife asked, who’s the skank in front of the trailer? I responded, “That’s no skank, that’s Gigi.” The Wife lit an unfiltered Pall Mall and disappeared into her bedroom, locking the door behind her. Yep, we’re back to normal here. Comments are closed.
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