![]() Happy Friday everybody! Hope you’re well and all the parts are still working. Parts is parts after all. Here at The Compound, Cousin Fred has been utterly fascinated by the Demi Lovato saga. So much so that I discovered he has been using a dry marker to write the names of people visiting her at the hospital on the glass slider in the TV room and then drawing lines cross-referencing the names. Not sure where the analysis is headed but all the lines appear to terminate at Wilmer Whatshisname. I’ve tried to keep the vertical blind closed on the effort, so the Wife won’t see it, but he keeps opening it up to study his effort and/or add a new name when the television tabloids announce a new siting. Cousin Fred can be a bit obsessive compulsive. Okay, we’re kidding here, we at CCB hope that she gets better, gets the help she needs and gets back to life, mostly so we don’t have to hear or read about it. It’s getting old. Friends, if you survived the 70s, there are still a few of us around, you probably remember the old Steve Martin comedy routine about getting small. For those of you too young to have seen or heard it (you’re probably less than 45), the basic premise was that Martin had discovered a new drug that would make you small. So instead of saying you were high, you might say you were small. He and his friends would sit around his apartment and someone would say, “Hey, you wanna get small?” There were other jokes like you couldn’t be locked up for being small because you could just walk out between the bars. Oh, the hilarity of it all. You see what you missed by not being around in the 70s? If you’re interested in hearing a recording of the routine, here is the link on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WPgurvq6MIU My point in heading down that pot-holed highway of nostalgia, is that police in North Carolina recently found themselves having to deal with someone who was small – both literally and figuratively. It has created an embarrassing situation for them. So, police in Charlotte, NC pulled a guy over on a traffic stop and figured they needed to search the vehicle. They cuffed their suspect whom we’ll call Houdini Jr. – Junior for short – and put him in the back of the patrol car. Being humanitarian kinds of cops, they opened a small window that separates the front seat from the back seat so that Junior could get some air in the back. It’s damned hot in NC in July. While they’re going through Junior’s car in which they find marijuana and associated paraphernalia, Junior is busy working his handcuffed arms from behind him to in front of him. That accomplished, he was able to slip through the small window and get into the front seat of the cruiser. With me so far? Guess what happened next. Go on, guess. Yep, he drove off in the cruiser. Lights still flashing. Shotgun still on its mount. Police radio blaring telling Junior they were on to him. But wait, there’s more! So, they find the cruiser abandoned about 10 minutes from where Junior was initially arrested. But guess what? Go on, guess. Yep, no Junior. Police used a helicopter and dogs to try to find him, but he remains at large. The thing is, how hard would it be to find some dude handcuffed and trying to get away on foot. Apparently, very hard. He probably headed to his weird Uncle Carl’s house. Uncle Carl has lots of tools and will free him of those cuffs in no time. Or with any luck, Uncle Carl has a universal handcuff key and will then throw yet another set of handcuffs onto the pile he has at the back of his garage. Now the cops have tacked on more charges to the drug stuff. They include larceny of a motor vehicle, fleeing to elude arrest, and impersonating a police officer. Impersonating a police officer? Really? Because he made his escape in a police cruiser? That’s kind of a cheap shot it seems. What has Charlotte PD learned from this? What is the lesson learned? Well, they’re already trying to figure a way to prevent perps from wiggling through the opening between the two compartments…oh, and that being humanitarian doesn’t pay. If you see Junior, you might let him know that he should try out for a shot at America’s Got Talent…they like escape artists on there. That is all! Comments are closed.
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