 Good Tuesday morning to all of you dedicated blog readers of CCB (all twelve of you, by last count – not including the Tuesday Afternoon Sunshine-Sunrise-Sunflower Social and Pinochle Club which reads the posts to its membership…every Tuesday afternoon).
The Cosmic City Blog is coming to you live from the Walmart parking lot in Frisco, Colorado. We’re about 9 miles from Montezuma (America’s Meanest Town), our ultimate shoot location, but if we were to park on the mean streets of Montezuma, we’d likely be ticketed, towed and/or arrested so we’ll camp here in Frisco. It didn’t really occur to us when we put this traveling show on the road that our rig is too long for just about any place that would have us. The RV with Hellkat One’s trailer attached makes us just a bit longer than most tractor-trailer combos going down the road. It’s 3:30AM here in Frisco. The rest of my traveling party, Cousin Fred, Friend Lamont, and Lassie the barking goat are still sound asleep. We had a long day getting up here. It’s normally a nine hour trip from the Cosmic City any way you drive it. I insisted that we come through the Panhandle and then up into SE Colorado. I wanted to stop in Lamar to see my old friend, The Mayor, who has long been asking me to visit there and receive the grand tour. Truth be told, The Mayor also owns a BBQ catering business on the side and I was hoping we would get a free lunch. He apparently told people in town that there were big-shot Hollywood reality show producers coming to town. The local Cadillac dealership showed up with three of those $80,000 CTS-V sedans at the Ports to Plains Truck Plaza where they met us. Each car had a magnetic sign on the side that read, “Big-shot Reality Show Producers form Hollywood”. Cadillac Calvin looked a little startled when he saw Lassie the barking goat come out from inside the RV and jump into the back of one of the waiting cars, but he chuckled and muttered something about, “Oooh, these Hollwood types” and went along with the program. The first stop on the tour was the Port to Plains Truck Plaza where they picked us up. They drove us around the building at least three times with Cadillac Calvin narrating, “And now, when we come back around the north side of the truck plaza, you’ll note that my cousin Jimmy who works here as the chief deputy assistant mechanic hasn’t moved since the last time we came around. He’s a good boy, son of my Aunt Virginia. We were all so proud when he got this job. I don’t mind tellin’ you, I had to pull some strings to make that happen.” Next stop was the Happy Lilly of the Valley Funeral Home and Furnace Repair Shop. Here we got out of the cars and went inside for a behind-the-scenes tour of the not only the funeral home side, but the furnace repair shop as well. The business is owned by a guy named Ben, but my pal, The Mayor, told me that his lodge brothers prefer to call him Bennie the Ghoul. The mood turned a bit dark when Cousin Fred asked The Mayor if the tour of the city would include any retail marijuana outlets. The Mayor assured him there weren’t any in Lamar. Finally, it was off to The Mayor’s place of business where a sumptuous repast of BBQ pork and beef awaited. I was getting a little nervous when The Mayor’s two chefs kept looking at Lassie the barking goat. We were presented with a key to the City of Lamar. It hadn’t occurred to me to bring anything along to give my friend, but fortunately, Cousin Fred had stashed one of the bottles of Mezcal in a bag he carried with him, so we handed that off to The Mayor. He seemed pleased. Friends, tell me…do I seem prescient? Because I’m feeling very prescient. I could have told you this would happen…Almost a year ago to this date, I told you about a bill moving through Congress that would make it illegal for Federal employees to watch porn while they were at work. The blog post that day was “E Pluribus Vice”. In that post, I told why something like this wouldn’t really work. Guess what? That bill and various versions of it are STILL floating through the Congress. Imagine that. A year later and they still can’t get it done. Dumbasses. Every time it starts moving through one committee or another, it gets watered down…diluted to the point that there’s…well, no point. Rep. Walter Jones (R-NC) sent a letter to the chairman of the House Appropriations Committee which was attempting to include the prohibition against porn at work in the government’s Omnibus Spending Bill. The language put restrictions on government agencies receiving their Federal funding unless they could essentially prove they were porn free. What could go wrong? The letter read in part, “We applaud you for including this funding restriction for many parts of the government. However, we are deeply troubled that it was not included for all the Federal government. In particular, it was not included for several agencies including the EPA, the SEC, and the Department of the Interior, which have been the subject of high profile media stories about their employees surfing porn at work.” Guess that makes CCB one of those high profile media outlets! We've arrived, at the Greyhound bus station of life! Jones cited examples from inspector general reports on the EPA which found multiple cases of EPA employees watching porn at work for as long as 6 hours of every day. Wow…now those are Federal employees with too much time on their hands. The upshot here (if there is one) is that when CCB first reported this last year, the Feds have finally figured out how to fire employees viewing porn during work without fear of being sued. Porn six hours a day at work? I’m not even sure Cousin Fred could do that. The real problem here is, as I pointed out a year ago, this is all show business. I guarantee you that for every filter, roadblock, and/or firewall the USG puts in place, if its deranged loser civil servants want to view porn at work, they’ll figure out a way. And, who in the Congress is slowing this thing down? Now, those are the people they need to be looking at…just sayin’. Comments are closed.
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