![]() Good morning everybody. Happy pre-Election Day. From what I’ve seen, it looks as though most of you have already voted…show-off freaks. I’ll be out there in the pre-dawn gloom tomorrow morning with the rest of the underachievers hoping to not be turned away once I finally make it up to the table where a pack of angry women decide whether or not I’m eligible to vote based on a whim at the moment. The first time I voted here in Oklahoma after moving back was for the primary election back in the late spring or early summer (a distant memory). I presented ID as one of the three opened her book of life and began searching for my name. One of the other two said (even though she’d never met me), “You’re a Republican, right?” Still not getting it, I responded with a cheerful, “Why no, I’m a Democrat.” A sullen and suspicious “Oh,” was the response. The three of them glowered at me, but didn’t say another word. Finally, one of them shoved a ballot with a big red “D” stamped on it toward me and pointed a boney finger toward the booth. I considered apologizing to the ladies and everyone within hearing distance for being one of “them”, but thought better of it. I even considered telling them that I’m a disgruntled Dem who doesn’t always vote along party lines, but alas, I knew it would lost on deaf ears. So, I have that to look forward to tomorrow. And, while we’re on the subject, did anyone else watch any of the crap flying across the TV this weekend about the Queen of the Unindicted’s email brouhaha? Things had kind of quieted down after the FBI’s announcement that they had uncovered another 650,000 emails on the Pervert Weiner’s laptop that his wife, the now all but fired personal assistant of Her Majesty had opened and read – when she still had a job. King of the Feebs Comey indicated that it would be well after the election before the Federal Buffoon’s email sniffing program could get through that many emails. But, wait… What’s that? There on TV is King of the Feebs announcing that what the Federal Buffoon’s were finding that there was nothing new. There were a whole lot of duplicates. Of course, there was no mention that regardless, she had still mishandled classified material…oh no. The Clinton Camp – seriously, they’re out of money and hanging out at KOA for next few days – breathed an altogether too quiet sigh of relief. The Trump, on the other hand, went crazy. He’s calling for the King of the Feebs’ head on a pike. He wants to know how…and honestly I’d like to know this myself…the Federal Buffoons made it through 650,000 emails in so short of time. The Trump then upgraded those rants into statements about how the FBI is rigged (whatever the hell that means). He may be right. It must genuinely suck to be King of the Feebs. It occurred to me then that this isn’t going to end tomorrow. The rants, the endless Game of Thrones that this election cycle has become is going to keep going. There will be challenges from both sides to the results no matter what they are. It’ll be too close not for that to happen. The increasingly painful and swelling hemorrhoid that is presidential politics isn’t going to end tomorrow. So I found myself searching for something to help me get my head clear of the buffoonery, the drama, and generally the bubbling, gaseous cesspool that is politics in America. And, I found it. And, it come from Florida. I don’t know what it is about Florida. I suppose it’s where the crazy people go when they get too cold. But, you can always count on bloggable crap coming out of the Sunshine State. There, and Ohio seems to have its share of looney toons too. Here in Oklahoma we have nuts…lots of ‘em…but we’re nowhere near the other two states in total “huh, WTF?” factor. So KFOR-TV was running a story that is almost a week old. Seriously, it’s that slow a news day that you had to lead with a week-old story? But, I digress. This is not about questionable editorial content practices and/or ineptitude. Oh, no. This is about hard (nyuk, nyuk) news. So, some guy in south Florida is reported to police after he calls a woman over to his vehicle to show her that: 1) he’s driving around naked in broad daylight; and, 2) his penis is encased in some electronic device with lots of wires coming out of it. So, she calls the cops and reports the guy as a perv. Hmmmm…now how did she know he wasn’t a victim himself? Seriously, think about it. This has Bruce Willis movie written all over it, wherein weird perverted terrorists attach an IED (in this case Improvised Erectile Device) to Willis’ Willy. This forces him to drive around town in search of the woman with the special code to unlock said IED and free Willy, all the while squinting through the smoke from the cigarette dangling from a corner of his mouth. It’s a blockbuster waiting to write itself, I’m telling you! But, that wasn’t the case here. The cops tried to stop him. Pervy Pete refused. Eventually, he was wrestled to the ground and the cops beat the crap out of him. No word on whether the bomb squad was called in to remove the electronic device from (I’m sure) his now shriveled penis (the thrill is gone!) or for that matter what exactly the electronic device was doing attached to his business. Come on KFOR…if you’re going to report something go all the way with it! Pervy Pete is now in jail charged with lewd and lascivious exhibition, exposure of sexual organs (it ain’t a Wurlitzer, baby!), and resisting a law enforcement officer without violence (I guess because he laid there and let them beat him senseless). The dude was just searching for the code! Hahaha…that is all! Comments are closed.
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