CCB gives new meaning to the term Vice President!

Good morning everybody. Another day, another blog post exposing the seamy underbelly that is America. 

How about those Iowa caucuses, huh? 

Talk about an anti-climactic soap opera. 

Cruz wins the GOP nod. I suspect for the last time for awhile. At least until they can get way down south where he’s the darling of evangelicals. Okay, I’ll just say it…the guy is kind of creepy. He’s got that weird chin thing that screams “I’ll wake up in the middle of the night and nuke Mexico!” 

I saw him kissing his wife after he declared “victory” in Iowa such that it was…a non-binding popularity vote. At least Madam Cruz didn’t cringe and try to get away like his daughter did when he tried to kiss her on national television. The guy’s a creep I’m telling you!

And then, there’s the “Do”…The Trump…finished a weak second and sounded downright conciliatory after the caucus results were announced…at least until he clear Iowa airspace. All of the network “analysts” seemed to think that The Trump’s big problem was that he lacked any sort of real organization. Hmmmmm…I’ll bet he’s buying organization in New Hampshire. Cash cures everything.
 
Seriously, I hope he hangs in there. He’s the most entertaining piece in this atavistic exercise in mediocrity.

Then there’s Mr. Finished Third, But A Strong Third. Marco Rubio. Who may very well rise to the top of the GOP menagerie? He appears to be kind of a class act and smart. Something none of the others has. His only drawback for me is that he’s one of those Tea Party guys…which are really nothing but disgruntled Republicans. That could be his downfall. 

In the meantime, long before the caucuses in Iowa ended, Chris Christie and Jeb! were already in New Hampshire have fistfights over who got there first. 

On the Dems side…Iowa finally declared the Queen of the Unindicted the victor late Monday afternoon. Uncle Bernie mussed up his hair a bit more and showed up in New Hampshire for a 5AM rally declaring a victory of sorts in Iowa. Which I guess is true. 

Tune in next week, when we’ll replay all of this again after Tuesday’s New Hampshire primary. It’s gonna be great, I’m sure!
 
And, speaking of great things…ain’t America great!? 

Seriously, where else in the world can you find entrepreneurs who combine vices for one-stop debauchery?
 
Quickly…name seven vices. Really? You can’t? Come on, no one is that virtuous. 

Allow me to help here with seven vices that most creative people seem to hold dear:
 
1) Drinking Alcohol – certainly one of my favorites. 

2) Smoking – not my thing, but people who do smoke can’t seem to live without it. By the way, we’re talking (as they say in Florida) tabaccy here. The other stuff could be dropped into number 1.
 
3) Gambling – another of my favorites. Horseracing to slots to lottery…what’s not fun about throwing money at something you have infinitesimal odds of success? Because when you do hit, the rush you get is on a par with facing a 450 lb. Jersey Bertha in a cage match (so I’m told). 

4) Oysters – admit it. There is nothing more decadent than slurping raw oysters from the shell and chasing it with alcohol. Don’t like oysters? Okay, substitute your favorite gluttonous indulgence…get naked and eat! Nobody’s watching.
 
5) Flashy Fashion – definitely something I need to work on. 

6) Sex – need I say more?
 
7) Abuse of Credit – we’ve all been there. As Hunter S. Thompson said, “The first and most important rule for writers is to abuse your credit for all its worth.”
 
Oh sure, there are probably more…like stealing your neighbor’s Wi-Fi, but it’s my blog and if I say there are seven there are seven. 

So the online porn video site, PornHub (sex is covered, or uncovered as the case may call for) is now moving into online gambling (still another vice, see how this works?)…ON ONE SITE!
 
Can you believe it? Why leave your house? Oh yeah, this is Oklahoma, nobody will deliver booze or oysters. Damn!
 
Online gamblers can play roulette, Blackjack, strip poker or even slots. And when you burn through all of your cash, you can go back over to the porn side and wiggle and giggle and think how you can come up with more cash to spend on the gambling side. 

It’s a vice addict’s wet dream I’m telling ya!
 
And, remember, for all of you rabid conservative republican types out there - your own idol (no, not Reagan), Abraham Lincoln once said, “It has been my experience that those with no vices have very few virtues.”
 

 

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