Catch that chicken, you can catch greased lightening...Happy Boxing Day...fruitcake abounds...Cousin Fred reveals his plan for 2018...it's gonna be great, you'll see!

To the Anglophiles among you, Happy Boxing Day! For the rest of you, I‘m sure you’re already camped out in the Cosmic City Walmart parking lot waiting for the doors to open and the post-Christmas sales to begin!

Hope your Christmas was all you expected or wanted it to be. For me, I scored THREE fruitcakes (so far). Had a little with coffee this morning and now I’m riding a carb/gluten/sugar high that should last until noon. Again, if you received a fruitcake and have no use for it, just bring it to The Compound and drop it on the lawn – no questions asked, no one will judge you.

Here at The Compound we turn away no fruitcake. For two days only, the gates will be open and you can pull in and drop without fear of warning shots being fired. I’ve cleared out all of the meats and stuff from the freezer so there’s plenty of room.

Things were quiet here at The Compound over the holiday. The Wife is still on another of her excursions (she hates fruitcake, by the way). Cousin Fred (have to hide the fruitcake from him) and the Hairdressing Hydrologist Gigi (haven’t figured out where she stands on fruitcake) were here. We were binge watching Trailer Park Boys – all 11 seasons – on Netflix.

If you’ve not seen that show, I can highly recommend it. Whoever wrote those episodes is a comedic genius. It’s truly the subtle humor that makes it great.

In between episodes, I continually reminded Cousin Fred that he and Gigi have to be out of the Main House by the time the Wife returns later this week. Cousin Fred assures me that it’s being taken care of and they will be the door.

He also presented his plan for our entrepreneurial enterprise in the coming year.

“Is it legal,” I asked?

“It’s not exactly illegal,” was his response.

Okay, I’m in.

It’s not like I have anything else planned for the coming year.

Cousin Fred’s plan is for us to open a prepper ranch here at The Compound. It will work along the same idea as a dude ranch, but without all the cowboy stuff. Basically, people will pay good money to come here and take training in prepper-type survival skills such as use of firearms, reconstituting and then eating freeze-dried gluten-free roadkill, raiding adjoining properties to steal your neighbor’s water, brewing crude homemade beer, getting through electronic hotel room locks (it’s sooooo easy to do), hacking your neighbor’s computer network to stream  Trailer Park Boys over his broadband (again, soooo easy to do) and so on.

As sketchy as it sounds, it may very well work. I mean with the lunatic fringe leadership with a bad haircut in charge (NoKo and US), fake news, fake money (BITCOIN), and whatever else is keeping you awake at night…civilization as we know it is about to crumble. If we can ease the crumbling for people and make some cash along the way, it’s all good.

Cousin Fred also wants to video it all and possibly turn it into a reality show. I pointed out that those reality shows are kind of 2016 now. He pointed out that we’re emerging as a Kingdom of Fear and that people would be interested in what we’re doing here. Uh huh…hopefully those interested parties won’t be law enforcement.

I observed that at least there won’t be any tramping around naked in Colorado looking for The Bigfoot. As I said that, Cousin Fred raised an eyebrow…ugh.

That is all!
 

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